Follicle Scan #2

Wow! My brain is on information overload today! We expected our visit to be about ten minutes as normal but instead we're there for about 2 hours. 

Scan looked good! On my right ovary we have : two 14s, three 13s, four 12s, one 11, one 10, two 9s, one 8, and two 7s. On my left ovary we have: one 16, two 15s, one 14, one 13, two 12s, three 11s, three 10s, one 9, two 8s, and one 7. I can definitely tell too because I feel so bloated and my stomach is tender. Although the tenderness could be from all of the bruises! I feel like we are running out of room on my stomach for needles! So far we have done 33 shots and still counting! 

So here's the game plan:

- contine stims tonight and tomorrow night

- go in Saturday for monitoring (ultrasound and lab)

    -- this could lead to another day of stims and more monitoring Sunday OR trigger shot Saturday.

- if we trigger shot Saturday, retrieval is Monday. Or if we have monitoring on Sunday, then we could trigger Sunday night, and retrieval is Tuesday. It's all kind of up in the air now, but retrieval is set for the early part of next week! I can't believe it! (And for my friends who don't know, the trigger shot makes your body ovulate basically)

At our appointment, we also went over all of the pre-op and post-op instructions. We thought all of that would happen this weekend. So needless to say when we walked out of there we both looked at each other and did the whole put your hand to your head and make the exploding symbol thing! Haha! It took forever to get the process started but now it's flying by! On one hand I'm so ready for this to be over, but on the other hand, I'm so scared! I really am praying this is our answer! Thanks to everyone who checks up on us daily! Love you all! And if your aren't following our journey on Instagram, our name is ttcbabystone ... I post more updates on there than I do on here! Have a great weekend and we will update after Saturdays appointment!

Follicle Scan #1

Today we had our first labs and scan to check on follicle growth for our IVF. I didn't catch all of the numbers, but we have two 11s, a couple 9s, about ten 8s, and about four 7s... Plus all of the smaller ones. My estrogen level looks fine, so they are keeping me on the same dosage of medication - 100u Follistim, 75u of Menopur, and 5u of Lupron. We actually had to order two more vials of Menopur. On Thursday morning we will go back for scan number two! 

This process is just moving right along! My tummy is bruised and sore though ... Ready for the next step! Thanks to everyone who has called or text to check on us  - especially those of you who did it on Mother's Day. Thanks for understanding and knowing how hard that day was for me ... We love you all!!

Update

Sorry it's been a while since my last post ... We have been crazy busy! But if you have been following my Instagram account, then you're up to date! 

We started our Lupron injections on April 29th - my thighs are sore and bruised but I don't mind one bit!Aunt Flo finally arrived on May 6th. Tomorrow, May 8th, we start our stims! I can't believe it! 100u of Follistim and 75u of Menopur. We will continue this for 4 days and go in on Monday, May 12th for our first follicle check! That's really all I have for now! I will post after our appointment Monday with some follicle sizes!!!!

Saline Ultrasound

Today we went for the saline ultrasound to check my uterus for polyps and fibroids. It was a little painful but ... all clear :) ... Yay! We also found out that my LH level on day 3 of this cycle was only 16. Last time is was 43. Technically it's still high, but it's come down a lot! It should be low single digits.

So here are the next steps:

-- Order Medicine
-- 4/29/14 - ultrasound and labs to check for cysts formed from taking the birth control pills
-- 5/1/14 - Take last birth control pill
-- Call the clinic as soon as my period shows
-- Start Lupron injections in my thighs - this will suppress my LH level which makes your body ovulate.
-- Start other injections

That's all I know for now. But we should be in full IVF mode by the first week of May! Woo hoo! I never thought this day would get here.

By the way ... this week is National Infertilty Awareness Week. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples are diagnosed with infertility? We are 1 in 8. You can learn all about it on www.resolve.org. I saw someone else mention this article on instagram and had to go find it for myself. It's also from www.resolve.org and it's called Top 10 Things I Learned About Infertility. They are all so true!

Top Ten Things I Learned About Infertility (from a retiring volunteer support group leader)

1. Infertility is linear...you don’t know how you’re going feel about any treatment or any part of it until you get there.  One minute you may say “no way” to IVF, and then you find yourself giving yourself shots and counting follicles!
2. Men (husbands/partners) do care, and they will be great fathers. But, in my experience, I’ve noticed that their highs are not as high nor are their lows as low on the path to parenthood. Most of them are able to picture life without children without tears coming to their eyes and can easily see how life with more money and no children can be a viable version of a happy ending. I don’t completely buy the conventional explanation of “it’s not happening to their body.” I think it’s more that many of them are Cubs fans and are used to painful disappointment for the team they love.
3. There’s no dipping your toe into the infertility world. You’re either underwater or by the side of the pool.
4. You cannot understand this until you go through it. Period.
5. Pick a few people to talk to this about, and then forgive them if they ask you how it’s going when you don’t want to talk about it. Letting people in and talking about this pain can really ease the burden, but once they’re in, they’re in -- no two ways about it.
6. Baby showers, baby pictures, hearing moms complain about their kids -- these are all things that can, and probably should, be removed from your life for the time being.  
7. Jealousy and intense dislike (I intensely dislike the word hate) are a natural part of the human rainbow of emotions. Feel them, forgive yourself, and move on.
8. It’s likely that not all relationships in your life will survive infertility. Friends who get pregnant while you can’t may be casualties. It happens.
9. Have talking points when you go to Christmas dinner....or just out for coffee. When people ask if you have kids or if you plan to, have something ready to say, so you don’t have to think on your feet.  Mine were: “It doesn’t look like it’s in the cards for us.” That seemed to make people feel a little bad for asking (which I have to admit I wanted) and let folks know we’d tried, which, for some reason, I also wanted.
10. Nothing stresses a woman out more than being told to relax. This is not your fault.  

I will update after next week's appointment. I hope you all had a great Easter.

IVF Here We Come ...

Today Ryle and I officially started our IVF Journey! Yay! I am so excited ... words can't even explain how happy today made me. I've waited almost 6 years to get to this point! 6 years! Ugh ...

Anyway, we went in for my day 3 baseline labs. Actually, Ryle and I both had blood drawn - they require a TON of testing from both partners. We will get a call after all of the labs come back - praying everything comes back fine! I also had my baseline ultrasound to check for cysts. All clear! After the ultrasound, we had to sign our life away on all of the consent forms ... seriously it felt like we were about to buy a house or something as many times as we signed our names.

This is basically the game plan from here:

April 11th - start my birth control pills
April 20th - start my antibiotics for the next ultrasound
April 21st - USI ultrasound (saline ultrasound) - if this ultrasound comes back all clear, THEN ....
April 29th - ultrasound to check for cysts from birth control pills
Wait for period to show after last birth control pill
Start Lupron injections after AF shows up
Start Stims a few days after that

So that's it in a nut shell. Yay! I'll update again after the ultrasound on April 21st ...

IVF Consult

Yesterday we drove 3.5 hours to meet with the specialist in Baton Rouge. I have been a nervous wreck all week long. Haven't even really enjoyed my Spring Break - my mind has completely been consumed with IVF. I'm going to try and get all of the information out that they crammed into my head, but I'm so sorry if it comes out all jumbled up. But man they shoved a ton in our heads in the measly hour that we sat in the office chairs.

When we got to the clinic, we had to sit in the waiting room for about 20 minutes while a couple with a baby went back to talk to Dr. Dunaway. They were there to basically say thank you for helping them get pregnant and to show him their own little miracle baby. Ryle thought it was strange, but I thought it was incredibly sweet - I can't wait til the day we get to have that kind of appointment. Hopefully that day will come ... Anyway, we finally get called back so the nurse can take my vitals and see if there have been any changes to my medical history for the past two years. When she opened my file, this was the first thing we saw. This clinic always takes a picture on your very first visit with them so that they can put a face to the names. I love that idea and I love the picture. We haven't changed much in the two years we've been gone, except Ryle now has hair. While we were waiting on the baby couple to leave, Ryle got all comfy on the table. How come I never look comfy and relaxed when I'm sitting on that? Lol! Well I just had to take a picture of him ... he might kill me for posting it on here, but oh well!

Our very first visit to our RE way back in 2011 ... seems like ages ago

I'm never that relaxed when I get in these chairs! Haha!

It's finally our time to go see the doctor, and let me just stop right here and say I LOVE MY DOCTOR and I LOVE THE WHOLE STAFF!! We always leave there feeling so much better than we did when we walked in. This is what he said in a nutshell: 

1) He does not recommend having the surgery for my Endometrosis at this time - mainly because I was only stage 2 last time and because I'm not having pain yet. 

2) I show signs of PCOS which I already knew. My last baseline lab work showed my LH level to be 43 on Cycle Day 3. He looked at the levels and said "Wow you are very polycysticy!!" I'm not sure that's a word, lol but that's what he said! Just to give you an idea, the normal range for LH should be anywhere from like 2-11. So mine is CRAZY high, right? Yeah - I'm full of problems apparently! Our nurse said she hasn't seen numbers that high  .... story of my life!

3) We are good candidates for IVF especially with our age. He then went over the whole IVF process and since I've already done injectable cycles before, we will only be adding a few steps. He said assuming my eggs are good and Ryle's sperm are good, we have a 50-60% chance of this working. Much better numbers than the IUI percentages. And that also gives us a 25-30% chance of producing multiples - which I am okay with. I wouldn't mind twins. This woman will not be picky and I will NOT be one of those women that complain about all of the pregnancy symptoms - I've had to work too hard to get there, so I will gladly put a smile on my face every SINGLE day, even if I have to hang my head in a toilet because of morning sickness.

4) The nurse then went over ALL of the paperwork that must be completed, I'm basically signing my life away with consent forms. I got a whole folder full that we have to read over and bring back on our next visit.

5) So here's the game plan - 

    a) get approved for the loan 

    b) Call the clinic if I have not started my period by March 27th - they will then call me in some Provera to induce a period.

    c) Call the clinic on Day 1 of my cycle to schedule my baseline ultrasound and labs. We will also have to provide a semen sample for a semen analysis on this day. Ryle and I will both have our pre-screening labs done this day.

    d) I will then start the birth control that precedes the IVF cycle and have to go back for another ultrasound that cannot be completed with my baseline.

    e) Once all tests are done, we may begin the IVF cycle on April 30th (this will be the first day of injections). The nurse didn't think that I will have all of my pre-screening labs done by the April 11th window. But I'm ok with April 30th - closer to the end of school so I won't feel so bad for missing days for all of these appointments that I will have to keep. Since I'm talking about my job, let me just stop right here and say, I love teaching. I love that I get to be around such amazing kids each day, but when I became a teacher, I did not think that I would become such good friends with the parents. I can honestly say, that I have met some wonderful women and made some great friends. They are always there for me and I just love getting texts from them with encouraging words. MAKES. MY. DAY! So, thank you to those parents - you know who you are :)

Well that basically sums up our visit with the doctor. I've been on the phone with the finance company today. We are going to wait another week before we apply for the loan. Once you apply, and are approved, you only have 60 days to sign the paperwork or your approval is void. So Ryle and I decided to wait. We will call them right before I start my period. We want to make sure we are approved before we go in for all of the pre-screening tests - those are not included in the IVF package that we are buying. We have to pay for the screenings out of pocket.

I really hope that all made sense ... if not, feel free to comment below and I'll see if I can clear something up. Hopefully in a few weeks, I will be on here posting that we are approved and have results for all of the baseline tests.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you are enjoying your day with your loved one. My loved one had to work today, but still sent me flowers at school even though we celebrated last weekend! Love them ... And him too :) ! 

Today is a hard day for me. Two years ago, to the day, Ryle and I attempted our last IUI (I believe we've done 5 maybe 6 IUIs). We felt that it was a good sign to do the procedure on Valentines. The doctor said everything was looking good and what happened? I got my hopes up. I just knew that this time it was going to work. I could feel it. Well about 11 days later, I got my period. I didn't even get to finish the famous two week wait that all infertile couples know so well. It's devastating to have to mourn what you were hoping and praying for every single month and I was SO tired of feeling that way.

After that, I said I was done. I was done trying, done getting my hopes up, just flat out done! And for two years Ryle and I just enjoyed our time together. Did I still have bad days and still think about having a baby, hell yes! But it didn't consume me.

Then recently I found out I was going to be an aunt and a friend of mine had a baby, and I lost it. I lost the happiness that I had for the past two years. The hurt and need came crashing back at full force. Thank The Lord for my husband, because I could not have made it through these past few months without him. He's the only one who truly knows how I feel. But I am grateful that I have others in my life that I can turn and talk to - it always helps to talk to people who have gone through the same thing. I've come to realize that you can't understand unless you go through it yourself. So I know my family will never understand even bough I desperately want them to. This whole situation has torn my family apart. It will take a long time to get back to where we were ... If we ever do.

Ryle and I are scheduled to go back to the fertility clinic soon for an IVF consultation. We haven't told many people that we are going back, I've only told a select few - for several reasons, but that's another story. If they read this then they will find out. I have some things I need to ask the doctor about - having surgery for my endometriosis again, thyroid, are we even good candidates for this, etc. I don't know when or if we will actually get to the IVF process, but I have to do something. I can't take it anymore, so this is us doing something. We are going to talk to him and see what he has to say about our situation. But seriously, how do people pay for this? It's crazy expensive. These are the prices for the clinic - to be clear, it's not per egg. It's per cycle - so for one cycle the $10,600 is for one fresh egg cycle ... Not for one fresh egg. And you can add anywhere from $3,000 to $5,000 for medicine per cycle! (Sorry for the phone picture quality)

                                     

Anyway that's all that's been going on here. Enjoy your valentines day with your loved one ... I sure am missing mine right now! 

St. Gerard

A sweet friend and past coworker came to visit me a few weeks ago and gave me such a sweet gift. It's a St. Gerard bracelet - he's the patron saint of mothers. Here's a little explanation from a quick internet search - Wikipedia is my best friend!! Here's a picture of it too ... I love it! (Sorry for the phone picture quality!)

                                 

  

One miracle in particular explains why Majella became known as the special patron of mothers. A few months before his death, Gerard visited the Pirofalo family and accidentally dropped his handkerchief. One of the Pirofalo girls spotted the handkerchief moments after he’d left the house, and she ran after Gerard to return it. “Keep it,” he said to her. “You may need it some day".

Years later when the girl--now a married woman--was on the verge of losing her life in childbirth, she remembered the words of the saintly lay brother. She asked for the handkerchief to be brought to her. Almost immediately the pain disappeared and she gave birth to a healthy child. This was no small feat in an era when only one out of three pregnancies resulted in a live birth, and word of the miracle spread quickly. Because of the miracles God worked through Gerard's prayers with mothers, the mothers of Italy took Gerard to their hearts and made him their patron. At the process of his beatification one witness testified that he was known as "il santo dei felice parti"--the saint of happy childbirth.

This devotion has become very popular in North America, both in the United States and Canada. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerard_Majella)

Not much has been happening here! Works been pretty good - glad to have my two big observations over with for the year! And they were both great by the way :)! Still haven't spoken to my family and right now, I have no desire to. I'm enjoying time with my husband drama free!! 

I did start weight watchers two weeks ago and have already lost five pounds - yay! I also signed up for a 5K in March! So I better get to running! Enjoy the rest of your week!! 

Not alone

This is a short post, I just wanted to share this blog that a sweet friend sent to me letting me know that I'm not alone. Thank you for thinking of me. The blog truly hits home ...

You can check out the blog (From One Degree To Another) she sent me here:

http://natepyle.com 

The title of the post is "The Disgrace of Infertility"

Same old, Same old

Well vacation and the holidays are OVER! And I am so HAPPY that the holidays are over. I'm kind of glad to be back to work because it keeps me busy and my mind off of things, but let me tell you- I'm ready for my kiddos to go outside and release some energy! Haha! It's been too cold and rainy here lately. Our hot water pipes froze Monday night it was so cold. Glad it's slowly warming up. Louisiana folks aren't used to weather cold enough to make our pipes freeze!

Before I type the rest of this, I just want to say that I have the best husband ever. He truly is my rock and I couldn't have made it through the past few weeks without him. The infertility may be tearing my family apart, but it has made Ryle and I a stronger couple. 

Well my brother finally replied to my text where I apologized and explained my feelings to him. The text I sent was a truly heartfelt text (approved by several people), but he thought - in his words, that I was being a bitch (that was the short version). His reply pissed a few people off. But Ryle and I came to these terms- we don't need people in our lives who don't understand. So if you don't like the way we feel or the way we handle it, then I'm sorry. But we have every right to feel the way we do, and we have the right to handle it the way we do - anyway that will protect us. Because honestly, and I TRULY believe this, no one will understand until they experience it themselves. No one will understand the grief, depression, hurt, or anger until they live through the experience themselves. And I pray no one will, but unfortunately, too many people experience this.

Ryle and I didn't spend New Years with family (for obvious reason), instead we spent it with our new neighbors. At first I didn't want to go, but Ryle convinced me that it would be a good way to take my mind off of things. That didn't happen though, because we found out that several others in our neighborhood are experiencing infertility too. Although a lot of the time was spent discussing fertility issues, it's nice to know I have others I can go talk to if I need to. And it was nice to ring in the new year with people who weren't upset with us for feeling the way we do. We rang in new year with people that understand how we feel- I'm hoping that's a good sign that this will be a great year! So here's to a great 2014!!!