Only Us

Well ... I've had an emotionally exhausting day. Thank you to everyone at school for asking how I'm doing. I guess everyone could tell by how I looked at school today. I never wear my hair in a ponytail ... never, but today I did. And I went without any makeup on. All anyone had to do was look at me and I would cry.

Of course I got  my period on Friday night ... spent the whole night crying my eyes out. I'm back to my depressed stage I guess. I'm sad, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to be around people, I don't want to talk, I just want to lay here with my "baby" - Diesel. He knows just when I'm feeling down and never leaves my side.

Ryle was super supportive Friday night - he laid in bed and cried with me. I know that he was just as disappointed as I was. Like I said in earlier posts, this was the first time that he actually got excited about the whole thing. He just knew that it was going to work and that we were going to have a boy - it had to be a boy he said. So not only am I upset that I'm not pregnant, I feel like I let him down big time.

So thanks for all of the prayers and kind thoughts ... I don't know what we are going to do. Take an extra long break I guess. The next step is IVF and we just don't have 12 grand. Maybe we just aren't meant to be parents, I don't know ... I feel like I don't know anything right now.

Not Helpful

Well I called and the nurse said it could be just be break through spotting from the Prometrium or it could be my period trying to start. I am supposed to stay on my medicine until I get "full flow". If that happens I am supposed to quit the medicine and we will know I'm not pregnant. If I don't get full flow, then I test on Tuesday and let them know. It's already getting heavier, so I guess we just wait - my absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world.

Bit the Bullet

Too much information warning!!

Well the spotting is getting worse. It started off brownish yesterday morning, then went to pinkish brown yesterday afternoon, and then red last night. So I just decided I would take a test this morning to see what it says. Of course, it's negative. At least I know the HCG shot is out of my system. I'm calling the doctor's office this morning. I don't know what else to do. I think this is my period and not implantation bleeding. I can feel the Zoloft pills coming back. I think I need them in my system NOW!!!

We will see what the nurse says. Of course I won't hear back from them until later this afternoon. Their phone lines don't even open until 8:30 and then you have to leave a message. I'm trying so hard to "keep the faith" and stay positive. But it's not working ... I just want to crawl back into bed and cry. I don't want to go to work and deal with kids today. I' don't want to do anything. I just want to cry and sleep. How sad is that ....

Just Blah

The past few days, I have felt just plain old BLAH! My medicine (Prometrium) is making me dizzy. I take it twice a day. The night time pill doesn't bother me because I go right to sleep. The morning pill makes me feel all "loopy". It's almost like I'm drunk - lol but not the good buzz you sometimes get with a drink or two!

Other than that, I started spotting this morning ... just great. Now I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. I'm not supposed to test until Tuesday, and I really want to know NOW. I just don't have a good feeling. So I start crying at work and text my husband. He gets online and looks it up. He thinks that it's good. It could be implantation bleeding. But who knows I guess?! He always looks at the positive in something. That's one of the many reasons that I love that man! And here I am getting all emotional because we can't afford to try again. We really can't afford IVF (which is what I would want to try next). I'm just BLAH!! And I'm ready for this whole mess to be over!

One More Week

Well, it's official ... the wait is killing me! I can take a home pregnancy test in one more week.  I just need to know.... it's driving me crazy!! The sad thing is that Ryle will be out of town. He wants me to wait until he gets home next weekend, but there is NO way that I can do that. I will just have to be brave and take it by myself. I will either be happy at work or miserable with red swollen eyes. I guess everyone will know without asking me. I'm just ready to get it over with. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and BELIEVE that I am going to get a positive, but after so many negatives, it's just a hard thing to do. I can tell that it's getting to me - I feel very irritable. One more week ... that's what I keep telling myself ... just one more week ...

On a side note. Ryle and I are now selling AdvoCare. If you need help losing weight before a big event or if you just want to lose a few more pounds before swimsuit season, the 24-Day Challenge may be for you. If you just need an extra boost to help you get through the day, you should try the Spark Energy Drink! Spark is probably my favorite product that they sell (Mango Strawberry is the new flavor and it tastes amazing!) Shoot me an email if you are interested in trying any of their great products (ryleswife@gmail.com). You can also view them online at https://www.advocare.com/120218898/ContactMember.aspx

Have a great week, and hopefully I will have a very happy post to share with you next Tuesday!!

IUI number ... well we've lost count!

Well have I mentioned that we love our doctor? In case I haven't told you, we just love them!

Let me start with Monday ... it was a crazy day at school (inside recess and PE - yuck). But my wonderful and loving husband had a flower arrangement sent to me since I was going to miss Valentine's Day at work. Red tulips are my favorite! When I got home at 3:30, we left for Baton Rouge. One of my wonderful brothers "doggie sat" for us (thanks Bryan). We got to Baton Rouge around 7:30 and checked into the hotel that my in-laws booked for us (they are the best). After we checked in, it was time to go for our dinner reservations at Texas de Brazil. It was the best dinner ever! I love that place. We had been to the one in Memphis two years ago, and let me just say that the Baton Rouge location is just as good! We even got our favorite dessert to go and enjoyed it back at the hotel.

This morning when we woke up, I already had knots in my stomach. Just this terrible nervous feeling - all I could think was "this has got to work" or "please God, let this work". We got to the clinic at 7:45 to drop off the 'sample' and we were told to return around 10:30. So knowing that I just love books, Ryle took me to Barnes and Noble and let me pick out a few new books. We also had some Starbucks before it was time to return. We actually got to the clinic early - I hate being late! We arrived at 10 and had to wait until almost 11 before they called us back. Dr. Dunaway got tied up in surgery. Ryle had a good count - over 18 million with 96% mobility. Yay! Dr. Dunaway also said he thinks that I had about 4 follicles that were mature enough (two on each side). Yikes!

When it got time for the actual insemination, Dr. Dunaway let Ryle "inject" the little swimmers. Dr. Dunaway had the catheter in place, and let Ryle inject them with the syringe. So now we can say that Ryle actually got me pregnant - not the doctor! We just love it in Baton Rouge. We are crossing our fingers and praying that this will be the most memorable Valentine's Day yet. In two weeks I will be able to take an at home pregnancy test and then we will know. But I'm going to stay positive and just BELIEVE that it worked!

Hope you all had an amazing Valentine's Day, because I know I did :)

Metairie

Ryle and I went to Metairie last night and stayed at my brother's house while he stayed at ours to take care of the pups. This morning we got to the clinic at 7:30 and didn't leave until 9! They were so busy. I was a little nervous about a different doctor reading the ultrasound and lab work results. But to our wonderful surprise, Dr. Dunaway was the doctor on duty in the Metairie office this morning! That immediately put us at ease.

My follicles are still growing - I had two 17mms, six 15mms, a few 14mms, and TONS of smaller ones. Remember, the follicles have to be at least 18mms to be mature enough to contain an egg. We are doing more shots tonight to give them an extra boost. They will continue to grow 1-2mms a day.

They called us back with the results and we are to do two of my three shots tonight. We are not going to to the 75u of Follistim. Tomorrow night between 10pm-12pm we will do the HCG trigger shot - this will induce ovulation. On Tuesday morning, we will return to the clinic in Baton Rouge for the IUI at 8am. Hopefully since we will be doing the IUI on Valentine's Day, we will have good luck!

LOVE

Can I just start by saying that I LOVE my doctor and the whole staff in the Baton Rouge office?!

Well we got up at 4am to make the wonderfully boring trip to Baton Rouge this morning. We arrived around 8:30. Had the lab work and ultrasound done. Then we got to talk to our nurse, Mrs. Jackie, about the next steps. I have a 15mm, two 14mms, five 13mm follicles, and TONS of smaller ones. We have been taking a low dose of meds because of the PCOS. We don't want too many follicles to grow or mature. I'm happy with the 15 and 14mms. Ideally, the follicles need to be around 18mm to be completely mature.

We were worried about having to order more medicine, but ... GOOD NEWS ... they gave us what we needed so that we wouldn't have to order any more! It would have cost us about $300 if we did order it. I only needed a small amount, and I love that they are so willing to help you out over there! I mean who would have thought that they would just give us the medicine?! I know that I'm getting excited over two small vials of meds, but you have to understand -- the Shreveport clinic NEVER would have done that! NEVER! Ryle and I both looked at each other as we were walking out of the clinic and we both had smiles on our faces. It's amazing how happy we are with our choice to switch doctors.

I will continue with the same dosage tonight and tomorrow. We will have drive to their New Orleans office on Saturday for another ultrasound and some labs. Hopefully we will be doing the IUI on Monday in Baton Rouge. That's their best guess at this point. So tomorrow while I'm at work, I'm going to go ahead and make sub plans for Monday and maybe Tuesday just to be on the safe side!

Sick Days

Sorry it took me so long to update ya'll. On the way home yesterday, I started getting a headache. By the time the four hour ride was over, it had turned into a full blown migraine. We got home around 4, I took my shots, and went to sleep. I woke up at six in tears. I thought my head was going to explode. My amazing husband gave me some medicine, held my hair back while I was sick, called my mom to see if there were any clinics open, and called my friend to get me a sub for today. Luckily, the medicine was making me sleepy, so I just went back to bed and woke up at 8 this morning. I will be going in to work at 11:30 today because I am feeling so much better. I have a dull headache and feel kind of weak, but I need all of my sick days. I am running out quickly! I only have 8 sick days left - I still have to finish this cycle and save a day for my brother's graduation from Physical Therapy School!

But the doctor's appointment went very well. I have lots of follicles but only four of them are maturing (which is good - you don't want too many). I have three 10mm and one 12mm. We were told to continue with the 75u of Follistim and Menopur along with the 5u of Lupron. We will return to the clinic on Thursday morning to have more blood work and another ultrasound. We will then discuss if we need to order more medicine or not - I'm afraid that we will have to, but hopefully it won't be a lot since the follicles are responding fairly well. That's all I really know right now, I'll update again Thursday night when we get home ...

Shot #4

Tonight Ryle gave me shot number 4. Well it's really not number 4 considering I get three shots a night, but you get the point - shot night number 4 is done! The shots really haven't been that bad. They do hurt a little, but I do not get big red welts with this brand. The Repronex left huge red spots all over my stomach.

Tomorrow morning we will leave at 5am to get to Baton Rouge before the 9am cutoff. I really hate that we have to be there between 7:30 and 9, but you do what you have to I guess. I'm hoping that the follicles are responding well and we won't have to order more medicine. I just get so nervous when it's time for another ultrasound - I want so badly for something to go our way ....

Starting Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day ... I will start getting three shots a day instead of just one. We will decrease my Lupron to 5 units and start 75 of Follistim and Menopur. I'm a little nervous. Three shots seems like a lot. I know the Lupron in the thigh will be OK, but now I'm adding two shots to my stomach. My poor tummy is going to be so sore. We will do this for four days and return to the clinic on Tuesday, Feb. 7th for an ultrasound and labs to check the growth of the follicles. Ahh... it seems like it's happening so fast now. But I am glad that we are able to keep moving! Please pray that the follicles respond well because I do NOT want to have to order more medicine. My checkbook can't handle another withdrawal like that!

Lupron Shots

Well tonight we did shot #6. Luckily the Lupron doesn't hurt. The needle is tiny ... which is wonderful for my thighs! My husband is doing an amazing job giving me the shots each evening. So far, I've only bled twice and I only have one bruise! I do have to say, you know you're a first grade teacher when you get excited that you are bleeding because you get to use a cute bandaid! Ha ha! I will call the clinic tomorrow because I still have not started my period. This means that we will more than likely start the shots in my stomach on Friday.