We feel SO loved ...

Wow. I'm truly overwhelmed at the response to the shirt sale. I was hoping we would sell at least 50 and here we are at 82 shirts after only five days of sales. Thank you so much for all of the support. We truly feel so loved right now from all of the purchases, donations, and sweet comments left on our page! Not to mention how many people have been sharing the page for us! This journey makes you feel so alone at times, so its great to see all of the support that we have. We love you all!

If you haven't had time to get your #teambabystone shirt yet, don't worry! You have 12 more days! We still need to sell 18 more shirts to meet our 100 shirt goal! Please help us reach this goal! After July 1st, you will no longer be able to get your shirt. Remember, this is a pre-order sale only. The shirts are available in Heather Indigo in adult sizes S-4XL only. The  maroon shirts are available in youth and adult sizes. Visit www.booster.com/teambabystone to support our cause and to help raise infertility awareness!

Again, thank you so much for helping us get our miracle baby. There are truly no words to express how much this means to us. 

T-shirt sales ... Please help!

It's time for our first fundraiser. The cost of all of our medication is finally catching up with us after six years of trying to conceive.

If you have a moment, please visit www.booster.com/teambabystone and take a minute to read our story. We are selling shirts to help offset the cost of the medication. The shirts are pre-order unisex. The front has the infertility symbol along with our team name. The back says "all things are possible if you believe -Mark 9:23". The deadline to purchase one is July 1st. After that date, the shirts will be printed and shipped. They are 20$ with a 5$ shipping charge as the shirts will be delivered straight to you. I'm hoping they will be in by July 18th so I can wear my Team Baby Stone shirt to my transfer. :) I BELIEVE that this will be our time. I spent a lot I time crying over our two babies that didn't make it this past cycle. But I have faith that we will become parents soon. 

Here's a sneak peak of the front:

Thank you in advance if you decide to help us out with the purchase of a shirt! We love you all! Let's go #teambabystone!!!!

www.booster.com/teambabystone 

Frozen Embryo Transfer Consult

Ryle and I just left our consult for our FET.  Doctor D couldn't tell us why we didn't get pregnant with the fresh cycle, but he said he's giving me the same success rate as the fresh - 60% chance of it working. He didn't think my endometrosis has anything to do with why it didn't work. He said it could have been an implantation issue or a lining issue. The embryos they transferred were hatched and they used embryo glue, but for some reason it didn't take. 

The embryos we have are a good quality or at least two of them are.  I got my calendar with all of the meds and the expected transfer date is July 18. That could change, but for now it's set to that date. Our medicine should be ordered tomorrow and we will return to the clinic on June 23 for an ultrasound and labs. June 23 is also the date that I should start my meds if all the labs and ultrasound come back clear.

That's really all we know for now. Again thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers, calls, and texts. We love you all ...

Beta Day

It's been an emotional 9 days. Today Ryle and I drove to Baton Rouge so that I could give blood for my beta test (pregnancy test). We really didn't speak the whole way there or the whole way back - my mind and emotions were all over the place. Nurse Jackie just called about 30 minutes ago - thankfully we had made it home by then.

My test was negative. I'm not pregnant. Our first round of IVF didn't work. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm hurt. 

Please don't be mad that we didn't tell you it was today if you didn't know. It was just something we wanted between us. So instead of texting everyone the update, I'm putting it on here. I'm turning my phone on silent. Please don't be offended if I don't answer your calls or text right away. I'm a mess and just can't talk about it right now. Thank you for all of the calls, text, and prayers over the last month or so. It meant a lot to Ryle and I both. 

We will go back to the clinic on June 11th to talk to the doctor about the cycle and what our next steps will be with the three frozen embryos. I know that I should be grateful that we still have three frozen, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. The doctor put two of our babies in me and it didn't work ... that freaking hurts. I'm terrified that we won't have enough time before school starts to try again.... I'm so tired of waiting. That's all infertility is .... a big waiting game.

I'll post an update after our next appointment.

Transfer Day and Update

Emotional. Exciting. Nerve wracking. Those are a few words I would use to describe transfer day! Maybe I thought it was all of those things because this was our first one, I don't know but I was feeling all of them. Well at least until I got my Valium - then I was all relaxed and loopy! Haha! 

I couldn't sleep the night before for fear that my embies didn't grow or mature enough for the transfer. I can't stand that we only get an update every other day on them. To me they are already my children and I want to know how they are doing each day, but I do understand that they have a lot of patients and that the status of the embryos changes a lot each day. Anyway, we arrived at the clinic about 20 minutes early because I couldn't sit in the hotel room for one more minute! 

For those of you that don't know, this is the process. As soon as you get there you have to empty your bladder and then immediately start filling it again. I drank two whole water bottles and it still wasn't as full as they would have liked (the doctor gve me a B on how full my bladder was - I'm a teacher and he gave me a B! Haha - I wanted an A but oh well). Anyway after you empty your bladder, you change into the gown and your hubby puts the scrubs on over his clothes including the cute paper booties. You sit there forever it feels like just drinking water. The room was very calm and relaxing though- dim lights, water fountain, etc. So basically we sat and I drank water for about an hour. Finally the nurse comes in and goes over discharge instructions. The doctor finally came in handed me a picture of our embies and then told us that he would be transferring a 96 cell grade 4 and a 96 cell grade 3. Grade 4 is the best at our clinic. I was so relieved as those are both really good quality embryos. After that, the nurse came back and gave me my Valium! Praise The Lord! I could finally calm down. After about 30 more minutes, they came and took us back to the exam room. The doctor insterts a catheter and then the embryologist comes in with another catheter - this one goes inside the other one. We got to watch it on the ultrasound screen, basically, all we saw was a white little flash and that was our babies being released from the catheter. Afterwards, you could see the white area on the screen, but that was it. I got to empty my bladder, we had to stay for 20 minutes and then they let me leave. I took a nap the whole 4 hour trip home and pretty much slept the rest of the day once we got home. I am a true believer that anyone going through IVF should have a Valium for every single procedure they do! That was the most relaxed I have been in 3 months!! 

Once we got home, I was put on bed rest for 3 days. My back was so stiff from laying down so long, but let me say that my husband stepped up and took great care of me! He didn't even want me to get up to go to the bathroom - but I won that battle! 

Today I'm taking it easy at home, but I am getting up and moving around! It feels nice to be able to get up and let my dogs out if I need to or walk to the fridge! 

This morning I got a call from the clinic that we have three embies frozen for future use! I started crying when she told me - blame it on the hormones I guess. But we have a 99 cell grade 4, 98 cell grade 3, and a 97 cell grade 2. The grade 4 and 3 are really good, the 2 is ok, but not ideal. I was so happy - again I was feeling the fear of not knowing how my other babies were doing. 

Ryle and I are praying that the embies in my belly have implanted safely and are making themselves at home. He's been talking to my belly saying "stick babies stick" and kissing and rubbing my belly. It has got to be the sweetest thing I have ever seen ... So much for not getting my hopes up again. They are so high it's not even funny. I'm just as bad as he is. I find myself constantly rubbing my belly, I even coughed this morning and found myself apologizing to my stomach! 

We need all I the prayers we can get please. I don't know how well I will handle it if my test comes back negative. I'm trying to hold out and not take an at home test, but that is such a hard thing to do - all my IVF sisters know!! Here are a few pictures of the past few days. Sorry for the terrible phone quality of some of them:

This is the photo shoot with our embies that were transferred! If it works, this is our babies first picture! I may be biased, but I think they are the most beautiful embies ever! 

I don't know if this is pre or post Valium, but I'm guessing post! I was so excited to hear that we had good quality embies! 

Bed rest isn't that great, but it's awesome when you have someone to take care of you! Ryle saw the snocone truck and went to get me one! 

And my Diesel was just soaking up having his momma be lazy with him. I think he enjoyed the bed rest! 

Egg Retrieval and Update on our Embies

Hey guys! I'm terrible at updating this blog. I promise I will get better with it.

We had our egg retrieval on May 19th - I had to miss awards day at school but it was for a good reason at least! That was such an emotional day. We arrived at 6:30 for the 7:30 procedure. Well it turns out that my doctor got stuck in traffic and didn't arrive until 8:30. They ended up calling in another doctor from the clinic but by the grace of God, Doctor Dunaway showed up before she did! I was so nervous about someone who didn't know anything about my case performing the retrieval. Our prayers were answered when he walked through the door. He was able to get 16 and out of those 15 were mature enough to be fertilized. I woke up cramping, sore, and still emotional. My poor husband! I woke up asking for Diesel (my fur baby), and crying saying "this is not how we were supposed to make a baby". He just kept saying "I know". But overall, the cramping went away over the next day and my bloating has gone down a lot!! I'm drinking my Gatorade like crazy - 3 quarts a day! But I did wear my PJ pants to work for two days (I had a good excuse!)

We got an update on Tuesday that out of the 15 mature, 13 fertilized! We were both so relieved!! I didn't get an update at all on Wednesday. But today, I got a call that out of the 13, one didn't make it. Two of them are behind but may catch up. Then the rest of them are: three 8 cell grade 4s, two 8 cell grade 3s, three 8 cell grade 2s, and two 7 cell grade 3s. So we have 10 that are still making it - maybe 12 if the other two catch up. We are both happy with those numbers too. Basically the nurse said grade 4 and grade 3 is where they want them, I'm not sure about how many cells they want - I would think the more the better. Of course these numbers will change again. I won't get another update until we get to the office Saturday. The transfer is set for 8am. I'm hoping that by Saturday, we at least have 6-7 good quality embryos left. We would transfer two and freeze the rest.

We are both excited, nervous, and praying that this is our answer. I will be on bed rest Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I will update after the transfer then! I will definitely have plenty of time on my hands - at least I love to read!! Thank you to everyone who checks up on us! We love you all!

Dear Lord, please let this be our answer ....

Follicle Scan #2

Wow! My brain is on information overload today! We expected our visit to be about ten minutes as normal but instead we're there for about 2 hours. 

Scan looked good! On my right ovary we have : two 14s, three 13s, four 12s, one 11, one 10, two 9s, one 8, and two 7s. On my left ovary we have: one 16, two 15s, one 14, one 13, two 12s, three 11s, three 10s, one 9, two 8s, and one 7. I can definitely tell too because I feel so bloated and my stomach is tender. Although the tenderness could be from all of the bruises! I feel like we are running out of room on my stomach for needles! So far we have done 33 shots and still counting! 

So here's the game plan:

- contine stims tonight and tomorrow night

- go in Saturday for monitoring (ultrasound and lab)

    -- this could lead to another day of stims and more monitoring Sunday OR trigger shot Saturday.

- if we trigger shot Saturday, retrieval is Monday. Or if we have monitoring on Sunday, then we could trigger Sunday night, and retrieval is Tuesday. It's all kind of up in the air now, but retrieval is set for the early part of next week! I can't believe it! (And for my friends who don't know, the trigger shot makes your body ovulate basically)

At our appointment, we also went over all of the pre-op and post-op instructions. We thought all of that would happen this weekend. So needless to say when we walked out of there we both looked at each other and did the whole put your hand to your head and make the exploding symbol thing! Haha! It took forever to get the process started but now it's flying by! On one hand I'm so ready for this to be over, but on the other hand, I'm so scared! I really am praying this is our answer! Thanks to everyone who checks up on us daily! Love you all! And if your aren't following our journey on Instagram, our name is ttcbabystone ... I post more updates on there than I do on here! Have a great weekend and we will update after Saturdays appointment!

Follicle Scan #1

Today we had our first labs and scan to check on follicle growth for our IVF. I didn't catch all of the numbers, but we have two 11s, a couple 9s, about ten 8s, and about four 7s... Plus all of the smaller ones. My estrogen level looks fine, so they are keeping me on the same dosage of medication - 100u Follistim, 75u of Menopur, and 5u of Lupron. We actually had to order two more vials of Menopur. On Thursday morning we will go back for scan number two! 

This process is just moving right along! My tummy is bruised and sore though ... Ready for the next step! Thanks to everyone who has called or text to check on us  - especially those of you who did it on Mother's Day. Thanks for understanding and knowing how hard that day was for me ... We love you all!!

Update

Sorry it's been a while since my last post ... We have been crazy busy! But if you have been following my Instagram account, then you're up to date! 

We started our Lupron injections on April 29th - my thighs are sore and bruised but I don't mind one bit!Aunt Flo finally arrived on May 6th. Tomorrow, May 8th, we start our stims! I can't believe it! 100u of Follistim and 75u of Menopur. We will continue this for 4 days and go in on Monday, May 12th for our first follicle check! That's really all I have for now! I will post after our appointment Monday with some follicle sizes!!!!

Saline Ultrasound

Today we went for the saline ultrasound to check my uterus for polyps and fibroids. It was a little painful but ... all clear :) ... Yay! We also found out that my LH level on day 3 of this cycle was only 16. Last time is was 43. Technically it's still high, but it's come down a lot! It should be low single digits.

So here are the next steps:

-- Order Medicine
-- 4/29/14 - ultrasound and labs to check for cysts formed from taking the birth control pills
-- 5/1/14 - Take last birth control pill
-- Call the clinic as soon as my period shows
-- Start Lupron injections in my thighs - this will suppress my LH level which makes your body ovulate.
-- Start other injections

That's all I know for now. But we should be in full IVF mode by the first week of May! Woo hoo! I never thought this day would get here.

By the way ... this week is National Infertilty Awareness Week. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples are diagnosed with infertility? We are 1 in 8. You can learn all about it on www.resolve.org. I saw someone else mention this article on instagram and had to go find it for myself. It's also from www.resolve.org and it's called Top 10 Things I Learned About Infertility. They are all so true!

Top Ten Things I Learned About Infertility (from a retiring volunteer support group leader)

1. Infertility is linear...you don’t know how you’re going feel about any treatment or any part of it until you get there.  One minute you may say “no way” to IVF, and then you find yourself giving yourself shots and counting follicles!
2. Men (husbands/partners) do care, and they will be great fathers. But, in my experience, I’ve noticed that their highs are not as high nor are their lows as low on the path to parenthood. Most of them are able to picture life without children without tears coming to their eyes and can easily see how life with more money and no children can be a viable version of a happy ending. I don’t completely buy the conventional explanation of “it’s not happening to their body.” I think it’s more that many of them are Cubs fans and are used to painful disappointment for the team they love.
3. There’s no dipping your toe into the infertility world. You’re either underwater or by the side of the pool.
4. You cannot understand this until you go through it. Period.
5. Pick a few people to talk to this about, and then forgive them if they ask you how it’s going when you don’t want to talk about it. Letting people in and talking about this pain can really ease the burden, but once they’re in, they’re in -- no two ways about it.
6. Baby showers, baby pictures, hearing moms complain about their kids -- these are all things that can, and probably should, be removed from your life for the time being.  
7. Jealousy and intense dislike (I intensely dislike the word hate) are a natural part of the human rainbow of emotions. Feel them, forgive yourself, and move on.
8. It’s likely that not all relationships in your life will survive infertility. Friends who get pregnant while you can’t may be casualties. It happens.
9. Have talking points when you go to Christmas dinner....or just out for coffee. When people ask if you have kids or if you plan to, have something ready to say, so you don’t have to think on your feet.  Mine were: “It doesn’t look like it’s in the cards for us.” That seemed to make people feel a little bad for asking (which I have to admit I wanted) and let folks know we’d tried, which, for some reason, I also wanted.
10. Nothing stresses a woman out more than being told to relax. This is not your fault.  

I will update after next week's appointment. I hope you all had a great Easter.