Friday, July 25, 2014

7 days past transfer

Ahh! I'm secretly going crazy inside! Those wonderful ladies who have gone through this know what I'm talking about. The urge to go pee on a stick is just about to drive me bonkers! I'm trying to hold out. It's just so hard. I don't feel pregnant ... and yes, I know it's too early. But here's the thing ... I never understood the term "PUPO ... pregnat until proven otherwise". That is until they put those live embryos inside of you. I have two babies inside of me. They may not have attached or implanted, but my babies are inside of me ... and they were alive and still growing. It just about kills you not to know if they are doing okay. It may just be something in the "infertile" world ... it's as close to being pregnant as most of us trying to conceive sisters have ever been.

I still have the picture of our last two embryos on our mantel in the living room. Some people may not understand why I want to keep that picture up there, but to me they were my babies. Part of him, part of me, put together and then put inside of me. That's the closest we have ever come to being pregnant ... we were PUPO. Unfortunately, it ended up not working and our babies didn't make it. I don't know, maybe people think they were just embryos, but to me life begins at the time of conception ... the minute they are fertilized. So they were our two babies that we lost ... to me anyway. So now I have two picture frames on the mantel ... two sets of beautiful embryos. And again, I'm happily PUPO.

Lots of people have been asking me how I'm feeling, I feel good. No cramping like I was last time. But last time I also had an egg retrieval done and my ovaries were very enlarged which could have caused some of that. At seven days past frozen embryo transfer, I don't have any real symptoms. My chest was sore ( from the progesterone and estradiol shots - they are pumping hormones into me like crazy!), but even that is going away. I'm thirsty all day. I'm tired and take a nap everyday- but I'm always tired so that's nothing new for me, plus it's summer break and teachers love summer naps. And the past two days, after waking up from my nap, when I stand up I get a really sharp pain in my lower abdomen on the right side. It's lasts for about 5 seconds, makes me stop and bend over, and then it's gone. I have no idea what that is about. That's all I'm feeling. Nothing that screams "Ahh you're pregnant".

I'm praying this works and that those babies are making themselves right at home. I'm trying to stay off of Google ... but again, it's hard not to look up your symptoms, or compare your embryos to those online (which I have to admit, I have done ... more than a few times lol), or even to look and see how other women were feeling on the same day as you. I'm just ready for my beta test ... but I'm also terrified of having them draw my blood. I so desperately want good results ... my heart can't take much more disappointment. So please pray extra hard these next few days!!!

Stick beautiful babies ... STICK!!


  1. Praying for your beautiful babies to stick!! I agree with you completely, the minute our embryos were fertilized, I felt this amazing protection over them, and those are our babies! I know how you feel. Good luck!!

    1. Than you. It always helps to know that other people have felt the same way.

    2. You are right Kristen, the minute that sperm and egg united it was life!!!! God designed it that way! I'm praying and believing with you ,just want you to know ,I love you both and I BELIEVE!!!! Aunt Cyndie

  2. We transfered our little squirts today! something told me to go read your blog tonight. ( i have you bookmarked- but not in a creepy way- lol) i think of you often and say special prayers. i love wearing my baby stone shirt too! thank you for being so open about your journey. it truly is helpful to know that you are not alone and it is "normal" to have the thoughts and feelings we do. May the Lord bless you with the family of your dreams. Maybe one day your squirts and our squirts can meet up and play in the fields of sondheimer together and we can say --- "remember when" . Praying for peace and calmness in your hearts and minds while you play the waiting game. "Let your faith be BIGGER than your fear!" Praying, Mandi & Ryan Baker