Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I'm alive!

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WOW! I can't believe my last post was August 13th! That was over a month ago! August and September are always so busy. That's the worst part of back to school. But I have a great group of 21 first graders. They wear me out, but make my days interesting :)

Well there's no news to report on our infertiltiy journey because we decided to stop trying for now. I am however, starting to finally have some what regular cycles on my own! It's the first time in like 5 years! Yikes! I'm also back on my Metformin to help with the cycles and weight loss. This time I asked for the extended release pill, it seems to not make me sick to my stomach like the normal one. So that's good news!

Still going strong with Crossfit - this is month 4 I think. I wake up 5 days a week at 5:30 am to workout. Let's just say by the time 3:00pm rolls around, this lady is ready to get on the couch with a book and do NOTHING!! But honestly, I feel better throughout the day if I get up and workout - makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

I'm so happy that my brother talked me into running Race For The Cure. That will be my workout for the day on September 29. If you would like to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure, just click on this link:

On top of doing my crossfit WOD each day, I also started a challenge called "Squat September". Oh man, what was I thinking?! On September 1, you do a certain number of squats - I started with 30. Then everyday for the whole month of September, you add 5 to your number. So today I had to do 115 squats and then do my 30 minute Crossfit WOD. My knees and legs are so sore! But I'm hoping that at the end of the month, I will be able to tell that I'm a little more toned in my legs and bottom! Haha! I also signed up for something called "The Whole Life Challenge". It's 8 weeks of strict eating and working out. So far so good. Luckily we kind of ate heathly everyday anyway, so it's not that big of a change! I have found out that I miss orange juice. I think I  miss that the most as of now - but it's only Day 4! So maybe this will help with the weight loss as well!

Hope everyone is doing well! Until next time ....

Monday, August 13, 2012

One Day Of Freedom

Well I think Ryle and I might have decided to put the baby issue on hold. Like for a while. He said he is happy with our life now. And I'm tired of stressing about it. It's taking longer than I wanted to pay off this last credit card. Plus we still have more debt to pay off after that. Do I really want to add 14,000 + to that?! Who knows! I'm just tired of thinking about it all the time. We always change our mind about this, but if we do decide to try again, I don't think it will be before Christmas. Anyway ....

I have one more day of freedom left before school starts back ... scary how fast the summers fly by! I plan to be SOO lazy tomorrow - it's going to be a sit on the couch and read kind of day! Well after I do my Crossfit WOD, of course! My brother has been my own little personal trainer everyday - it's great having him live here!

Here are some picture of more Owl Updates to my classroom ...

Owl-Standing Behavior ... found on another blog: First Grade O.W.L.s
Thanks to my amazing husband for helping me make it!

Writing Goals ... Pinterest Inspired

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Goodbye Summer!

Well it's almost time to say good-bye to summer! School officially starts for us in one week. I have been at school the past two days getting my room ready. I always say that I'm not going up there until I have to, but I'm too OCD about my room! I want it to be perfect! Too bad having a perfect room doesn't equal a perfect year, right?! Wishful thinking! Here are some things I have been working on in my room to incorporate the owls (kind of poor quality - I took them with my phone, sorry!):

Pinterest Inspired!

So I may have the best sister-in-law ever! She made my word wall!

My "Star Student" board

That's all that I can really show you so far. The other stuff has been just cleaning and putting things away.

And can I just take a minute to tell you that I had the best vacation ever! I was so scared to go white water rafting, but it was the most fun I've had in a while! Gatlinburg, TN is just beautiful! Enjoy some pictures from our vacation!!
White Water Rafting with our guide Charlie

Amazing Views
Love this man!

Silly man!

At Dick's ... funnest place to eat!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Country Living

Well my brother is back from California and look what he brought me! He made the bad day I was having yesterday so much better. I love some Rich Froning! Lol!

Well I found out yesterday that I didn't get the second grade spot. I haven't heard from the school, but some teachers let me know. Guess it wasn't meant to be, huh? Nothing I can do about it!

I told Ryle that moving to the country was looking better and better (ha - I even asked if we could move to Iowa - he said no)! I could teach at the private school that he went to. We looked at one house out there already a few weeks ago. I loved it - it was huge and came with 7 acres. It just needed a lot of work and they were asking way to much! So we will just keep looking I guess. I know his parents would love for us to move out there, so we will see. Originally I wanted to move out there so that I wouldn't have to teach, but now I think I want to ... for a while anyway! I guess we will just have to wait and see. Not many houses come up for sale in the country that are move in ready. I'm so ready to go ... country living is looking pretty darn good right now (not to mention that it's an hour closer to my doctor)!

Monday, July 16, 2012

No News ...

Well lately, life has been great. I haven't really worried about the baby issue. We are focused on paying off our bills and it seems to be working. There hasn't really been much to report.

I'm sad to say that we lost another great teacher to retirement. When I found out, I went to the school to request to be moved. But I don't know if it will happen or not. I guess we will just have to wait and see. It would be great to find out soon because changing classrooms may take a while. Don't get me wrong, I love first grade. But after five years, I need a change. I want to be able to try something different. So I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed for now. I guess if it's meant to be, it will be. Or that's what everyone says anyway ...

Ryle and I have been working out like crazy. He loves CrossFit and I think it's great. I don't know if I "love" it yet, but I'm working on it :). Still no weight loss on the scale, but everyone tells me that they can tell. I guess that's the downside to having never worked out before - you have to gain a lot of muscle before the weight loss will show on the scale. But I want to see some results ... well on the scale. I'm already doing things that I never thought I would be able to do! Every now and then while we are working out, Ryle will look at me and say "I'm so proud of you for doing this" or "I'm glad you workout with me everyday". Those are the moments that make me keep going when I feel like I can't. So I guess a part of me does love CrossFit because it kind of brought Ryle and I back together. The stress of infertility was/is hard on our marriage and at times, it felt like we were so far apart. But now that we workout together everyday, it feels different. It's like we are the old "us" again. It's hard for me to explain.

This past weekend my dad, brother, and his girlfriend went to California to watch the CrossFit Games! I'm so jealous. They got to see some amazing workouts! Plus, they got to see my "CrossFit Crush", Rich Froning, in person! He's pretty amazing! So glad he won the games for the 2nd year in a row - Fittest Man two years in a row (I sure do know how to pick them ;)! ) Ryle and I may just have to go to the games next year. I think it would make an awesome vacation. Here are a few pictures from their trip ...
Bryan and Dad got to see some amazing workouts and some VERY strong women!

Rich Froning Jr. ... i love this picture

Rich Froning Jr. CrossFit Games 2012

They had great seats for the games!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Make a Decision Already!

Well it's 9 am and I have already done my crossfit workout for the day! Woo Hoo! Something about working out in the mornings makes me feel like I accomplished something for the day!

I'm so excited about today ... I'm going to have lunch with four of the best ladies in the world! It's first grade teacher lunch day! We are going to eat and catch up on everything. It's really great to still get together with them because two of them won't be returning to school next year. :(

My body is so frustrating! I wish it would make a decision. Either it's going to be so screwed up to where I don't have periods at all, or it's going to be regular. Make up your mind! Pretty sure I'm about to start again. It hasn't even been a full month since my last cycle. But my face is breaking out ... I feel like a teenager again and I hate it! I guess it's a good thing that my body is trying to get back on track. It's about damn time ... it's been 5 years since I have been regular and that was on the pill so I guess technically it's been even longer since I have been regular by myself. I don't know why it's deciding to start now ... all the working out maybe? Who knows. I would love to think that I could get pregnant on my own now, but I know better than to get my hopes up. I have too many other issues.

I finally decided to decorate my room in owls. Ryle took me to the Peach Festival last weekend and I bought this adorable owl to hang outside my classroom! Isn't it the cutest thing in the world?! It's not a very good picture (I took it while we were driving down the road), but I think she is so stinking cute! I have also ordered a ton of "junk" (aka bulletin board stuff and classroom decorations)! I am determined not to go to school until the first of August when we get back from our vacation.

Hope everyone is having a great summer so far! Enjoy every minute of it!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Card #2 = GONE

I guess you could say that I'm super motivated and I'm so excited! I just scheduled the final payment on credit card number two! As of Friday, it will be paid off! I can't wait! Now we have one more to pay off before Ryle will let me apply for the IVF loan. Card number three should take about three months to pay off. I'm aiming for the end of September! I'm ready to apply for the IVF loan now, but Ryle wants to get rid of one more monthly payment first. The only good thing about the loan is that if in the end we don't wind up with a baby, we will get some of the money back. Not a lot of it, but some which is better than none in my opinion.

This past Saturday, was the end of my first month doing Crossfit. And honestly, I just feel better overall. I hardly ever want to just sit and take naps anymore - which is my normal routine for summer time! I would love to tell you that the number on the scale has gone down, but unfortunately, it hasn't. Ryle and my Dad swear that it's because I'm gaining muscle. Never in my life have I worked out or lifted weights .... NEVER (except when we did the half marathon, and still all I did was run). I had no desire to lift weights or workout, and truthfully, I still don't want to. But here's the thing. With PCOS, you gain weight easily (and it's so hard to lose it) which makes it harder for you to get pregnant. So by doing nothing, I'm making it harder on myself to have a baby, which is just plain DUMB! We workout 5 days a week and I still feel like I'm going to die after every single workout. That's how out of shape I am! But some of the workouts are getting easier for me and I actually look forward to working out every day. I just hope that once school starts, I will still be motivated to come home and workout. But August and September just drain me!!

I'm thinking of implementing the Daily 5 in my classroom next year, so right now I'm reading a book about it and following some teacher blogs that are hosting a book study about it. That's really the only "school stuff" that I'm doing. I figured I would wait until August to start getting ready. For some reason, I'm just not that motivated to work on anything this year. I wanted to decorate my room with owls, but I just don't feel like dealing with it right now. I think it would be so cute to put owls on the tree that Megan painted for me a last year. Wouldn't they look adorable on there?! Hopefully by the time August gets here, I will be ready to go, but right now the only thing on my mind is getting the card paid off ...

Thursday, June 07, 2012

The Couple's Guide to InVitro Fertilization

Well it's been a little bit since my last post. Not really much to report other than I finally got another period on my own. This is my second one since the failed IUI in February. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but I have been able to go for almost a year without one. With that being said, having two in 4 months feels like a big accomplishment. On the other hand, a period still brings on the "I'm not pregnant blues". The cramps are also bad - I've never had bad cramps, so it makes me think that my endometriosis may be coming back. Ugh - I do not want to have that surgery again! But we will just have to wait and see. I would do just about anything to have a baby ....

Ryle really does spoil me rotten! My favorite thing to do is read and we are running out of places to put all of my books! So he took me to get a Kindle Fire! I'm so excited. It is by far, one of the best things ever! My most recent read, is a book called: The Couple's Guide to In Vitro Fertilization by Liza Charlesworth. I was browsing the Kindle store and came across this book. I thought I might as well read it since we will soon be a couple attempting IVF. I love the Kindle because you can highlight things that you want to come back to, so I'm going to cover only a few of those in this post! There is no way that I can go over everything that I highlighted - most of it was for my benefit anyway, but here it goes:

The book was very informative and I found it quite interesting. I didn't know there were so many different steps or options available to couples. There were some parts of the book where I was like, "I know exactly how that feels!"

There was a whole section dedicated to Keeping Your Emotions In Check. This is where I got a little teary-eyed. She describes an infertile woman's emotions as a 64-count box of Crayola Crayons. I just love this analogy - I guess it's the teacher in me! She says:
" First there are the blues: feelings of sadness, desperations, isolation, and bone-tired weariness from the months of disappointment. Then there are the greens: unbridled jealousy of sisters and cousins and colleagues with kids - even complete strangers that parade their perfect babies down the street in fancy carriages just to spite us (or so it seems.) Then, there are the reds: pure fire-stoked rage at your insurance carrier for not covering treatments, at your friends for not understanding the depths of your despair, at your body for not delivering on its promise. Finally, there are the yellows: those occasional bursts of hope that nurture our spirits and keep us optimistic. Those sunny jolts that remind us that, with treatment, our dreams of babies are real possibilities."
I can honestly say, that's exactly how it is. I'm sad, jealous, angry (especially at my body for not doing the one thing that a woman's body is supposed to do!), and yes, I do have some hope. Do I feel hopeful every day, no - not at all! But there are moments when a ray of hope shines through. I even had one tonight. While finishing reading, I looked at Ryle and said *with tears in my eyes*, "I'm ready to go back. I need to go back". Now, you know from previous posts, we are trying to pay down some debt first. We have one card paid off, and by the end of June, card number two will be gone! I asked if we could go back to the clinic after the third was paid off. He said yes, so to me that is a ray of hope! Is all of our debt going to be paid off before we get the IVF loan, no. But that's ok. Because about 7 grand of debt will be gone. It's the hope that makes the sadness, jealousy, and anger more bearable.

Through out the book, there were little "fertility facts" posted. One of them caught my eye:
" Research shows that the levels of depression faced by infertile people are as high as those dealing with life-threatening illnesses."
I absolutely believe that. Many of you know, I was on a few anti-depressants in the past. I got off before our last IUI attempt in February simply because Ryle asked me to. There is really no way to explain the helplessness and sadness you feel during infertility struggles. Ryle was against me getting on any medication at first. He thought that I should just be able to deal with what I was feeling, after all, he was dealing with the situation just fine, right?! But I just couldn't. After MANY breakdowns - even several at school in front of my class! - he agreed that I should go to the doctor. And the medicine did help. I guess I am more at terms with my situation now, but there are still some times when I feel like I should get back on them.

There was a whole section on insurance coverage, and wouldn't you know it that I live in a state with mandated fertility coverage, but this is what the law says "Requires employers that are not self-insured to cover some infertility treatments, but not IVF". Well I guess I should be happy that my insurance will pay for the occasional blood test. And I do mean occasional! The law makes it so that the coverage is provided to diagnose the problem, but not to treat it. How dumb is that?! I told Ryle we should move to Hawaii - they are mandated to pay for one IVF cycle, or Arkansas - they are mandated to pay up to 15 grand for one IVF cycle, or Illinois - they are mandated to cover up to 4 cycles of IVF. Don't get me wrong, Louisiana is not the only state that does not mandate coverage. But frankly, it just sucks! Another fertility fact:
"A recent study found that if insurance companies chose to cover all infertility benefits - including IVF- the cost to each policy holder would be about $20 a year."
Twenty dollars a year doesn't seem like that big of a sacrifice to help thousands of couples who can't afford IVF, does it? Not to me anyway - I would gladly pay the extra money a month if I knew that I was saving another couple from the same heartache that we are currently facing. Just my opinion :)

There was so much more in the book that caught my eye, but I would be here forever! I would recommend this book to any couple thinking about pursuing IVF. It was very helpful! It goes on to explain the whole IVF process and what you can expect from each step. It also allowed Ryle and I to discuss how we felt about certain situations. For example, we agreed that if we needed to use doner eggs or sperm, that's ok. We also learned that we don't really agree about selective reduction. This is when the doctor will stop the heartbeat of a young fetus (about 11 weeks). Ryle says yes - he would want to reduce the number of fetuses from 4 down to 2 for the safety of the babies and myself. I'm still undecied. The whole stopping the heartbeat thing gets to me. We will just have to keep talking about it, and I would like to talk to our doctor first.

Anyway, this is an wonderful book - it answered so many questions that I had!  With that being said, I can't wait to get back to the doctor. I'm hoping that we will be able to go back around October. Everyone cross your fingers!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Busy Bees

Well, it's been a while since I have posted anything. We have been so busy the past few weeks. My brother just graduated from Physical Therapy School and is about to start his new job at the hospital. Did I mention that he moved in with us? Yes, so we have been crazy busy moving him from New Orleans. We also went to see him compete in a Crossfit competition this past weekend. It's also the last week of school so I'm busy getting my room ready for summer. 4 more days counting today :) .... I can't wait to just do nothing this summer!!

No news on the fertility front ... we did pay off one credit card though! Only a million more to go - we are currently working on number two and hope to have it paid off in about a month! I need to pay some of them off before we go and finance IVF. Which we decided was our next step. I have also been thinking about getting my tattoo - some people we know just opened up a new tattoo shop and I'm really thinking about going to see them. We will see.

Here are some pics from the past few busy weeks!

Bryan and his friends. (he is in the middle)

Me and Brother ... proud sister. Love his face in this one :)
Matt, Mom, Bryan, and Me
Dad, Mamaw, DR. BRYAN, and me :)
Me and my SEXY husband :)

Bryan Working Out

Oh yes! He had to do partner squats. FYI - his partner was 250 lbs.

Bryan being silly .... BAM!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

National Infertility Awareness Week

Well it's been a nice and relaxing week. I haven't done a whole heck of a lot. My husband has been out of town with work, and I have been taking advantage of the "me" time - super lazy and catching up on some reading. But I do want to take some time to tell you about a very important week for many couples.

This is National Infertility Awareness Week. The goal of this week is to get several important facts out to the general public. For instance, did you know that infertility is a disease that affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age?! This disease (because it is a disease people!), impacts the physical, emotional, and financial health of those facing it. For those of you that are close to Ryle and I, you know these things to be true. You see it in our life on a day to day basis, but there are SO many people that don't understand the disease or the impact it has on the couple.

I believe I have used this link before, but for those of you that might want to share kind words with couples struggling with infertility, check it out. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say and we know that. It's a great article that just gives you a little insight into what we feel throughout the whole journey. If you choose not to read the article, that's ok - it is kind of long, but here is one thing that I would want you take away from it:

           "The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal. As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money."

There are so  many times when people try to say something to me that is not meant to be hurtful, yet I start to tear up. And I'm not trying to be cruel when I just say, "I'm sorry I can't talk about it" and then walk away. I just want everyone to understand how hard it is to discuss. The part of the article about having the a deep cut that keeps getting opened when it starts to heal is the perfect way to describe this. For example, I was doing SO well. Everyone was telling me and I even blogged about it. And I knew I was doing well. It was wonderful and I was the happiest I have felt in a long time. But then I held a baby - the cutest and sweetest baby ever by the way! And that was all I could do. I thought that I was going to die. I immediatley got sad, started to cry, and that was it. I was back in my "sad mode". And it's been a hard week since then, but slowly I'm trying to heal again. But it was a step forward, and one I'm glad I took because I can't avoid babies forever. So I want you to know that this isn't just something that we can get over. There are constant reminders every single day. Reminders of what we don't have and what we may never have.

As I'm sitting here, I see on the news that a woman struggling with infertility was fired from her teaching job at a Catholic School because she was trying IVF treatment. It's sad .. those are the only words I know to describe the situation.

This week kicks off a nationwide campaign to educate the public about infertility and the concerns of those affected. Resolve's theme for the week is "Don't Ignore Infertility". It's time to make our voices heard! Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedules to read this blog. If you know someone struggling with infertility, take a minute and say a little prayer for them and just let them know that you are there to support them through this journey.

Here are some links you might want to check out :

Infertility Facts

Help Break the Silence 


Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Sometimes you just need a change and I think I'm in need of one. I don't know why all of a sudden, but I need one. I think that I might need a grade change, after 5 years in first grade I think it's time. It could be that one of my best friends at work is leaving for another school! Ahh ... what am I gonna do without her?! Go crazy, I think. I don't know but somethings gotta give, I've only been teaching five years. It's too soon to be burnt out!

I've also had several people tell me lately that "I seem to be better" .... aka I'm not breaking down about baby issues all the time. And I really am better - my brother even invited a pregnant friend over to my house last weekend and I didn't cry at all! Here's the deal. We don't have 12 grand. We are so in debt from all of the trying that it will take us forever to pay it all off. So I guess in my mind I have come to terms with the fact that I may never be a mom. Does it make me sad, yes. But what can I do about it?!

Monday, April 09, 2012

Easter 2012

Well, if you know me or have read any of my past Easter blogs, then you know that I absolutely dread Easter. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. But this year wasn't so bad. I didn't shed a single tear! I don't know if it's because I am more comfortable with our situation or if I finally accepted the fact that Ryle and I may never be parents. I don't really know why, but I can honestly say that this was one of the better Easter's that Ryle and I have spent together. And I can hardly believe that this was our SIXTH one to spend together. Time really does fly.

The Stone's

Ruthie and Jeremy

Love my Sis-in-Law time .... Can you find Jeremy? :)

He is my life, don't know where I would be without his love and support!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Proud Wife *Updated*

This post has nothing to do with our fertility journey. I just wanted to take a minute and tell you how proud I am of Ryle. Today was his last day of the 24 Day Challenge. He lost a total of 15.8 pounds and 12.5 inches. He did an amazing job!

Ryle with his Bow - this is the day he started the 24 Day Challenge

At the weigh in. Same shirt - fits so much better now :)

Our new Jeep - has nothing to do with AdvoCare *just wanted to show it off lol*

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Wow, time really does fly by. I can now say that I am officially 27 years old. Yikes!! I'm not really going to say a whole lot about how I feel about my birthday. You all know how hard it is on us. We are pushing 30 and are still baby free, which makes us very sad. I tried my best to have a great birthday and to not dwell on that fact. It was hard, but in the end, I had a pretty great day. Thanks to everyone who sent me a text, email, or a happy birthday wish on facebook. They all helped make my day a little easier to get through.

I do want to say how proud of my husband I am. He has been on AdvoCare's 24 Day Challenge for 9 days and has lost 11 pounds!! So proud of him! I know by the end of the 24 Days, he is going to look even sexier than he already does :) I just bought myself the challenge for my birthday and will start it on Monday. If you want to join me in losing weight and just feeling better all together, then you can visit my website to order the challenge - it will be directly shipped to you. I will be taking the 24 Day Challenge Pack, Catalyst, and ThermoPlus! Let's loose some weight together!

Our AdvoCare Website:

Monday, March 05, 2012


If you are interested in Advocare, but live out of town, you can still benefit from this! Check out my website where you can order and it will be directly shipped to you!


Monday, February 27, 2012

Only Us

Well ... I've had an emotionally exhausting day. Thank you to everyone at school for asking how I'm doing. I guess everyone could tell by how I looked at school today. I never wear my hair in a ponytail ... never, but today I did. And I went without any makeup on. All anyone had to do was look at me and I would cry.

Of course I got  my period on Friday night ... spent the whole night crying my eyes out. I'm back to my depressed stage I guess. I'm sad, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to be around people, I don't want to talk, I just want to lay here with my "baby" - Diesel. He knows just when I'm feeling down and never leaves my side.

Ryle was super supportive Friday night - he laid in bed and cried with me. I know that he was just as disappointed as I was. Like I said in earlier posts, this was the first time that he actually got excited about the whole thing. He just knew that it was going to work and that we were going to have a boy - it had to be a boy he said. So not only am I upset that I'm not pregnant, I feel like I let him down big time.

So thanks for all of the prayers and kind thoughts ... I don't know what we are going to do. Take an extra long break I guess. The next step is IVF and we just don't have 12 grand. Maybe we just aren't meant to be parents, I don't know ... I feel like I don't know anything right now.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Not Helpful

Well I called and the nurse said it could be just be break through spotting from the Prometrium or it could be my period trying to start. I am supposed to stay on my medicine until I get "full flow". If that happens I am supposed to quit the medicine and we will know I'm not pregnant. If I don't get full flow, then I test on Tuesday and let them know. It's already getting heavier, so I guess we just wait - my absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world.

Bit the Bullet

Too much information warning!!

Well the spotting is getting worse. It started off brownish yesterday morning, then went to pinkish brown yesterday afternoon, and then red last night. So I just decided I would take a test this morning to see what it says. Of course, it's negative. At least I know the HCG shot is out of my system. I'm calling the doctor's office this morning. I don't know what else to do. I think this is my period and not implantation bleeding. I can feel the Zoloft pills coming back. I think I need them in my system NOW!!!

We will see what the nurse says. Of course I won't hear back from them until later this afternoon. Their phone lines don't even open until 8:30 and then you have to leave a message. I'm trying so hard to "keep the faith" and stay positive. But it's not working ... I just want to crawl back into bed and cry. I don't want to go to work and deal with kids today. I' don't want to do anything. I just want to cry and sleep. How sad is that ....

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Just Blah

The past few days, I have felt just plain old BLAH! My medicine (Prometrium) is making me dizzy. I take it twice a day. The night time pill doesn't bother me because I go right to sleep. The morning pill makes me feel all "loopy". It's almost like I'm drunk - lol but not the good buzz you sometimes get with a drink or two!

Other than that, I started spotting this morning ... just great. Now I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. I'm not supposed to test until Tuesday, and I really want to know NOW. I just don't have a good feeling. So I start crying at work and text my husband. He gets online and looks it up. He thinks that it's good. It could be implantation bleeding. But who knows I guess?! He always looks at the positive in something. That's one of the many reasons that I love that man! And here I am getting all emotional because we can't afford to try again. We really can't afford IVF (which is what I would want to try next). I'm just BLAH!! And I'm ready for this whole mess to be over!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

One More Week

Well, it's official ... the wait is killing me! I can take a home pregnancy test in one more week.  I just need to know.... it's driving me crazy!! The sad thing is that Ryle will be out of town. He wants me to wait until he gets home next weekend, but there is NO way that I can do that. I will just have to be brave and take it by myself. I will either be happy at work or miserable with red swollen eyes. I guess everyone will know without asking me. I'm just ready to get it over with. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and BELIEVE that I am going to get a positive, but after so many negatives, it's just a hard thing to do. I can tell that it's getting to me - I feel very irritable. One more week ... that's what I keep telling myself ... just one more week ...

On a side note. Ryle and I are now selling AdvoCare. If you need help losing weight before a big event or if you just want to lose a few more pounds before swimsuit season, the 24-Day Challenge may be for you. If you just need an extra boost to help you get through the day, you should try the Spark Energy Drink! Spark is probably my favorite product that they sell (Mango Strawberry is the new flavor and it tastes amazing!) Shoot me an email if you are interested in trying any of their great products (ryleswife@gmail.com). You can also view them online at https://www.advocare.com/120218898/ContactMember.aspx

Have a great week, and hopefully I will have a very happy post to share with you next Tuesday!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

IUI number ... well we've lost count!

Well have I mentioned that we love our doctor? In case I haven't told you, we just love them!

Let me start with Monday ... it was a crazy day at school (inside recess and PE - yuck). But my wonderful and loving husband had a flower arrangement sent to me since I was going to miss Valentine's Day at work. Red tulips are my favorite! When I got home at 3:30, we left for Baton Rouge. One of my wonderful brothers "doggie sat" for us (thanks Bryan). We got to Baton Rouge around 7:30 and checked into the hotel that my in-laws booked for us (they are the best). After we checked in, it was time to go for our dinner reservations at Texas de Brazil. It was the best dinner ever! I love that place. We had been to the one in Memphis two years ago, and let me just say that the Baton Rouge location is just as good! We even got our favorite dessert to go and enjoyed it back at the hotel.

This morning when we woke up, I already had knots in my stomach. Just this terrible nervous feeling - all I could think was "this has got to work" or "please God, let this work". We got to the clinic at 7:45 to drop off the 'sample' and we were told to return around 10:30. So knowing that I just love books, Ryle took me to Barnes and Noble and let me pick out a few new books. We also had some Starbucks before it was time to return. We actually got to the clinic early - I hate being late! We arrived at 10 and had to wait until almost 11 before they called us back. Dr. Dunaway got tied up in surgery. Ryle had a good count - over 18 million with 96% mobility. Yay! Dr. Dunaway also said he thinks that I had about 4 follicles that were mature enough (two on each side). Yikes!

When it got time for the actual insemination, Dr. Dunaway let Ryle "inject" the little swimmers. Dr. Dunaway had the catheter in place, and let Ryle inject them with the syringe. So now we can say that Ryle actually got me pregnant - not the doctor! We just love it in Baton Rouge. We are crossing our fingers and praying that this will be the most memorable Valentine's Day yet. In two weeks I will be able to take an at home pregnancy test and then we will know. But I'm going to stay positive and just BELIEVE that it worked!

Hope you all had an amazing Valentine's Day, because I know I did :)

Saturday, February 11, 2012


Ryle and I went to Metairie last night and stayed at my brother's house while he stayed at ours to take care of the pups. This morning we got to the clinic at 7:30 and didn't leave until 9! They were so busy. I was a little nervous about a different doctor reading the ultrasound and lab work results. But to our wonderful surprise, Dr. Dunaway was the doctor on duty in the Metairie office this morning! That immediately put us at ease.

My follicles are still growing - I had two 17mms, six 15mms, a few 14mms, and TONS of smaller ones. Remember, the follicles have to be at least 18mms to be mature enough to contain an egg. We are doing more shots tonight to give them an extra boost. They will continue to grow 1-2mms a day.

They called us back with the results and we are to do two of my three shots tonight. We are not going to to the 75u of Follistim. Tomorrow night between 10pm-12pm we will do the HCG trigger shot - this will induce ovulation. On Tuesday morning, we will return to the clinic in Baton Rouge for the IUI at 8am. Hopefully since we will be doing the IUI on Valentine's Day, we will have good luck!

Thursday, February 09, 2012


Can I just start by saying that I LOVE my doctor and the whole staff in the Baton Rouge office?!

Well we got up at 4am to make the wonderfully boring trip to Baton Rouge this morning. We arrived around 8:30. Had the lab work and ultrasound done. Then we got to talk to our nurse, Mrs. Jackie, about the next steps. I have a 15mm, two 14mms, five 13mm follicles, and TONS of smaller ones. We have been taking a low dose of meds because of the PCOS. We don't want too many follicles to grow or mature. I'm happy with the 15 and 14mms. Ideally, the follicles need to be around 18mm to be completely mature.

We were worried about having to order more medicine, but ... GOOD NEWS ... they gave us what we needed so that we wouldn't have to order any more! It would have cost us about $300 if we did order it. I only needed a small amount, and I love that they are so willing to help you out over there! I mean who would have thought that they would just give us the medicine?! I know that I'm getting excited over two small vials of meds, but you have to understand -- the Shreveport clinic NEVER would have done that! NEVER! Ryle and I both looked at each other as we were walking out of the clinic and we both had smiles on our faces. It's amazing how happy we are with our choice to switch doctors.

I will continue with the same dosage tonight and tomorrow. We will have drive to their New Orleans office on Saturday for another ultrasound and some labs. Hopefully we will be doing the IUI on Monday in Baton Rouge. That's their best guess at this point. So tomorrow while I'm at work, I'm going to go ahead and make sub plans for Monday and maybe Tuesday just to be on the safe side!

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Sick Days

Sorry it took me so long to update ya'll. On the way home yesterday, I started getting a headache. By the time the four hour ride was over, it had turned into a full blown migraine. We got home around 4, I took my shots, and went to sleep. I woke up at six in tears. I thought my head was going to explode. My amazing husband gave me some medicine, held my hair back while I was sick, called my mom to see if there were any clinics open, and called my friend to get me a sub for today. Luckily, the medicine was making me sleepy, so I just went back to bed and woke up at 8 this morning. I will be going in to work at 11:30 today because I am feeling so much better. I have a dull headache and feel kind of weak, but I need all of my sick days. I am running out quickly! I only have 8 sick days left - I still have to finish this cycle and save a day for my brother's graduation from Physical Therapy School!

But the doctor's appointment went very well. I have lots of follicles but only four of them are maturing (which is good - you don't want too many). I have three 10mm and one 12mm. We were told to continue with the 75u of Follistim and Menopur along with the 5u of Lupron. We will return to the clinic on Thursday morning to have more blood work and another ultrasound. We will then discuss if we need to order more medicine or not - I'm afraid that we will have to, but hopefully it won't be a lot since the follicles are responding fairly well. That's all I really know right now, I'll update again Thursday night when we get home ...

Monday, February 06, 2012

Shot #4

Tonight Ryle gave me shot number 4. Well it's really not number 4 considering I get three shots a night, but you get the point - shot night number 4 is done! The shots really haven't been that bad. They do hurt a little, but I do not get big red welts with this brand. The Repronex left huge red spots all over my stomach.

Tomorrow morning we will leave at 5am to get to Baton Rouge before the 9am cutoff. I really hate that we have to be there between 7:30 and 9, but you do what you have to I guess. I'm hoping that the follicles are responding well and we won't have to order more medicine. I just get so nervous when it's time for another ultrasound - I want so badly for something to go our way ....

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Starting Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day ... I will start getting three shots a day instead of just one. We will decrease my Lupron to 5 units and start 75 of Follistim and Menopur. I'm a little nervous. Three shots seems like a lot. I know the Lupron in the thigh will be OK, but now I'm adding two shots to my stomach. My poor tummy is going to be so sore. We will do this for four days and return to the clinic on Tuesday, Feb. 7th for an ultrasound and labs to check the growth of the follicles. Ahh... it seems like it's happening so fast now. But I am glad that we are able to keep moving! Please pray that the follicles respond well because I do NOT want to have to order more medicine. My checkbook can't handle another withdrawal like that!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Lupron Shots

Well tonight we did shot #6. Luckily the Lupron doesn't hurt. The needle is tiny ... which is wonderful for my thighs! My husband is doing an amazing job giving me the shots each evening. So far, I've only bled twice and I only have one bruise! I do have to say, you know you're a first grade teacher when you get excited that you are bleeding because you get to use a cute bandaid! Ha ha! I will call the clinic tomorrow because I still have not started my period. This means that we will more than likely start the shots in my stomach on Friday.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Lupron Day 1

Ryle and I got up at 4 this morning to make the long drive to Baton Rouge. I had an ultrasound and some lab work to rule out cysts. And good news - all clear! We were told to continue the birth control pills through Sunday. We also started the Lupron shots this evening. Ryle was great - I think he secretly enjoys giving me shots. The Lupron goes into my thigh and will be taken every evening until they tell us to stop - this should wipe out my hormones. As soon as I start my period, I am supposed to call and they will tell me when to take the next set of shots (Follistim and Menopur). I told her that yesterday I actually started spotting and according to my ultrasound, this may be all I have. My lining is very thin and may not produce a full period. So if by Thursday, I have not started, I am supposed to call her and she will give me instructions as to when to start the shots then.

While we were eating lunch at Don's Seafood (amazing by the way), I was telling Ryle that I feel really confident about this cycle. That has never happened - never. But here's why... at FINO, the same lady does the bloodwork, the same lady does the ultrasounds, and the same lady talks to us about the cycle plans everytime we go. They all have their assigned areas to work so that they are consistent. I know, it doesn't really seem like that big of a deal, but in Shreveport, it was never consistent. We always had someone different do the ultrasound, bloodwork, and give us cycle instructions. I just love that I know exactly who will be doing what when we go in. All in all, it was a great day! I hate the drive to Baton Rouge, but I absolutely love the time that I get to spend with my husband.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Talked to the nurse yesterday to get my lab results. My LH level was 43.2 last time, this time, it was 24. Yes it's down, but not nearly enough! Your baseline LH level should be around 4 or 5. So mine is still very high. The birth control and Lupron injections will bring this level down as well as all of my other hormones. Ahhh ... scary thought - a woman with no hormones :)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

On the Roll ...

Well surprise! I started my cycle on Thursday.

We went to Baton Rouge on Friday for our baseline ultrasound and lab work. He only wanted to recheck a few of my hormone levels - LH, FSH, and E2. My ultrasound was all clear - no cysts. I have not gotten the lab work results back yet. They were supposed to call me yesterday afternoon, but I didn't hear from them. So first thing Monday morning I am going to be calling. I really want to know if my LH level was normal. Last time they checked, it was 43.2 on day four of my cycle - extrememly too high!

We got to talk to the nurse about the treatment plan for this cycle and it seems very complicated. There are all kinds of medicines that I will be taking. Starting Sunday, I will take birth control pills for 14 days. I will then go back to the clinic for another ultrasound to check for cysts one more time. Starting on that day, Ryle will get to give me shots in my thigh. This will be Lupron - it is used to supress my natural hormones. This will take place for 14 days. On my next cycle, I will start the Menopaur and Follistim shots in the stomach. That's really as far as she got with the instructions - they will go over more on our next visit. They did order my meds and I am currently waiting on the specality pharmacy to call me back.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers....

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Here we go ...

Well I am happy to say that this treatment cycle officially started! This morning I started my Provera. This will induce my period and then we will really get the ball rolling with a trip to Baton Rouge to see Dr. Dunaway in about 10 days. I am so hoping that Ryle will be able to go with me this time. I always feel better when he is able to go with me. That's all I really have to report on that front.

I started back to work today as well. Let's just say it was very hard to get back in the routine after being off for two weeks. But it went well and I was in a good mood ALL day - this was a nice change!

When I got home from work, I checked the mail and YAY! I won something! A few weeks ago, I entered for a chance to win a necklace from a fellow blogger. So I want to say thanks to Kerry at Our New Normal for picking me as the winner of this beautiful necklace from Premier Designs. You can read her blog by clicking on the link above.

I have been thinking a lot lately about getting a tattoo. I don't really feel like I am the "tattoo type", but I seriously want one. The one I picked out has meaning to me and I just can't get it out of my head. This infertility journey has changed Ryle and I in many ways. And we are so much stronger as a couple and individually because of it. I think I want to get the word "believe" on my wrist with the infertility awareness ribbon behind it. Is that a crazy idea?! I know that I may not be "infertile" forever, but it has been a MAJOR part of our life for the past three years (plus it's not over yet). And I have to constantly tell myself to believe that anything is possible. In fact, I think that's part of my new year's resolution: To stay positive and believe that anything is possible.

I want this with the pomegranate colored ribbon behind it for infertility

So you can be honest and leave a comment on the blog and tell me if you think it's a crazy idea or not. And it will be hidden while I am teaching by my watch, so the kids won't see it.

One last update: I got a deer over Christmas break! Not the one I wanted, but this one showed up by our stand. He had already been shot in the back leg by another hunter the night before. He was limping, but not bleeding anymore. When we saw him, two coyotes were circling him and just messing with him. I guess they knew he was wounded. So I just couldn't let them get him. I had to shoot. Here's a picture of him ...
7 pt.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I'll update as soon as I know something more about our treatment cycle!