Yay Me!

Tonight I jogged 6 miles with Ryle and Megan. It took us about an hour and 27 minutes - not great, it's like a 14 minute mile. But still - I am so proud of myself. All day I was dreading this run, but I did it! So Yay me!

On a side note, I am stressing about the holidays already! I don't know what we are going to do. I'm not sure I can make the trip to visit all of the babies. I'm still hurt about how the whole Easter trip went down. My sis in law says to take a vacation so that we aren't even in town that week. But, it's the holidays so I don't really want to go on vacation. I asked Ryle what we were going to do, and all he said was "I don't know". We don't really talk about it. So I guess I just have to wait and see .... and you know, I just LOVE to wait!

Lately

Well I haven't been in a great mood lately. It seems that Ryle and I have been fighting all the time; although, I know that's not true - it just seems that way, but I know it's my fault - I've just been in one of those moods. Not being able to jog like I want to because of shin splints, stress at work, thinking about the holidays coming up, worrying about getting a 12-15 thousand dollar loan, IVF consult coming up, lots of pregnant people and/or babies in my life at the moment (or so it seems). There's just a lot going on. I feel like maybe I should be taking my Zoloft that she gave me - I did fill the prescription, just never took it like she wanted me to do.

So anyway, as you know, I've been going to Painting with a Twist. As it turns out, I'm not a great painter, but I like it. It keeps me busy and keeps my mind off of all of those things that put me in my "blah" mood. So Ryle went and bought me some things so that I can paint at home and not spend $45 every time I want to paint. Well, Megan is the best because she is "helping" me! The other night we painted a Halloween Fleur de Lis at her house. And today I painted some pumpkins all by myself. She is going to come over later and help me fix what I don't like on the pumpkins. Here are some pictures:

Just hoping that this will help me get out of the "blahness" that has taken over the past few weeks!

IVF Consult

Well today was a better day - not great, but better! First of all, I called the clinic to schedule our IVF consult. We are set for November 21 at 3:30. I'm so stinking excited. I'm not even sure why because it's no big deal. We are just going to find out about all of the procedures. I guess I'm excited because we are taking the next step.

Then this afternoon, I went to see my doctor. First of all, I told her that I wasn't taking the Zoloft. So she gave me something else, BuSpar (I think) - it's for anxiety. But I am supposed to take it only on my "bad" days. I'm not sure if I will or not yet. We shall see. So then we get to the Metformin thing - and guess what? The stinking fertility clinic did not send my records! They have had 2 months!! So they are going to call the clinic tomorrow and she will get back with me in the next few weeks. She wants to go over the whole file and then we will talk about it. She asked how everything was going with the baby situation. And we talked a little about it. We talked about the whole situation of people not understanding - I told her I don't know how to deal with that. And she had the best answer. She said to say "I thank God that you do NOT know how it feels, and I pray that you NEVER do" and to leave it at that. I love that answer because it is so true. No one knows what infertility feels like unless they have been through it. It's something that no one wants to go through. But I know that this is going to make me a stronger person!

On a side note - I have lost 4 pounds in two weeks! So yay! I'm just ready for my shins to get better so I can start jogging again!

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

It's just been one of those days and I'm having my first meltdown in a long time - about 2 months actually. My day just started off on the wrong foot. I didn't sleep well last night so I was in a crappy mood this morning. Then school was just crazy - it seemed like something went wrong every second. Then I come home and we get ready to run, but my shins were hurting so bad that I could barely walk a mile. I did make myself walk two miles. That's not what I was planning on happening though. We planned on jogging 3 miles. I just couldn't do it. Every time I took a step, a sharp pain shot up my legs. It was terrible. Ryle kept telling me to push myself, and to run through it. I just couldn't. So I let him and Megan do their own thing, and I walked the two miles. I think they ended up doing 5 miles. I was/am just so mad at myself. And then I have my meltdown. \

Tomorrow is my day to go back to the doctor (not the specialist - just the regular old girl doctor) .  I was so excited to go tell her that I have NOT needed to take my Zoloft for the past two months like she wanted me to do. But then all I can think about is that I started running because I wanted to lose weight. Everywhere I look on the Internet, people with PCOS say that they lost weight and just got pregnant on their own. Well that's why I wanted to lose weight. Now I feel like I can't even run; therefore, I can't lose weight or get pregnant. I know that's not how it works. In my mind I KNOW THAT! It's just been one of those days - I'm an emotional wreck. Several people that we know are having their babies today and it just hit me that I can't get pregnant. I know - Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Well I'm going to go to bed now and pray that I wake up in a better mood tomorrow!!

Family Time ... Love it!

I love spending time with my family. Today we went to Painting with a Twist. We were only missing two of my brothers. Wish they would have been there, it was a blast! The painting was called Cracked Cross. Here are some pictures of the day:

Getting ready to start our "Cracked Cross"

Before we blended the colors ....

After we blended ... Ryle giving it a thumbs up!

He's crazy! The instructor kept calling Ryle's the AC/DC Cross ...

I love this man!

Family Painting with a Twist

Ruthie and I ... love them!

31 Heroes

This has been a busy day and it isn't over yet. This morning I got up at 5:45 to jog/walk a mile with Ryle. Then at 8:30, we went to watch my brother and dad participate in a 31 minute workout to benefit the fallen navy seals. CrossFit gyms across the nation and world gathered together to honor our heroes killed in action August 6, 2011 with a workout in an effort to raise funds for the families affected by this tragedy. I just want to say how proud I am of both of them! They did amazing! There is no way that I could have completed the workout!

Bryan is on the far left in the red.

Go Daddy! They had to run with 45 pound bags of sand!

Bryan is in the black shorts climbing the rope.

It's a 30 inch jump or something crazy like that!

Just My Luck

When I went to the doctor last month, she told me to make an appointment for early September and she would see about putting me on Metformin - helps with PCOS. Well I couldn't make my appointment back then because I didn't know how my school schedule was going to be yet. So today I call, and they are switching offices so I can't go see her next week OR even make an appointment to go see her! I was really looking forward to seeing what she was going to say about Metformin and if she thought it was right for me. I guess I have to wait ... just my luck. I also need to call the clinic and set up and IVF consult for late November ... better do that soon too!

Monday was my first official day of "training" for the half marathon. And let me just tell you - I am so out of shape! We jogged/walked 3 miles that first day, and on Tuesday I could NOT move! I hurt in places that I didn't even know you could hurt. Ryle and Megan are like my own personal Bob and Jillian from the Biggest Loser. It really felt like I was on that show Monday evening. On Tuesday, Ryle and I walked about 3 miles - we jogged a little, but mostly walked. Wednesday, Megan, Ryle, and I did intervals (walked 3 minutes and jogged 2 minutes) for 2 whole miles. And tonight was just terrible for me! We planned on doing 5 miles of the walk/jog. But that didn't happen... we did 4 miles and I mostly walked after the first 2. They are just in way better shape than me and I can't keep up. I just got mad at myself for not being able to do it. SO my goal is to work on not getting mad at myself and to do it at my own pace. Even if I have to walk the 13.1 miles, I will finish. I do know that much! I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself considering I haven't done this much exercise in my life - like ever. And already this week I have done 12 miles.

I have the best friends and family. They have already helped me raise almost $200 for The Children's Hospital. Please help me finish raising the $250 goal that I set for myself. I am almost there! Click on the link to find out more information: http://jazzhalf.com/fund-raiser/2011/kristen-stone. Thanks bunches!