Before I type the rest of this, I just want to say that I have the best husband ever. He truly is my rock and I couldn't have made it through the past few weeks without him. The infertility may be tearing my family apart, but it has made Ryle and I a stronger couple.
Well my brother finally replied to my text where I apologized and explained my feelings to him. The text I sent was a truly heartfelt text (approved by several people), but he thought - in his words, that I was being a bitch (that was the short version). His reply pissed a few people off. But Ryle and I came to these terms- we don't need people in our lives who don't understand. So if you don't like the way we feel or the way we handle it, then I'm sorry. But we have every right to feel the way we do, and we have the right to handle it the way we do - anyway that will protect us. Because honestly, and I TRULY believe this, no one will understand until they experience it themselves. No one will understand the grief, depression, hurt, or anger until they live through the experience themselves. And I pray no one will, but unfortunately, too many people experience this.
Ryle and I didn't spend New Years with family (for obvious reason), instead we spent it with our new neighbors. At first I didn't want to go, but Ryle convinced me that it would be a good way to take my mind off of things. That didn't happen though, because we found out that several others in our neighborhood are experiencing infertility too. Although a lot of the time was spent discussing fertility issues, it's nice to know I have others I can go talk to if I need to. And it was nice to ring in the new year with people who weren't upset with us for feeling the way we do. We rang in new year with people that understand how we feel- I'm hoping that's a good sign that this will be a great year! So here's to a great 2014!!!