Here we go ...

Well I am happy to say that this treatment cycle officially started! This morning I started my Provera. This will induce my period and then we will really get the ball rolling with a trip to Baton Rouge to see Dr. Dunaway in about 10 days. I am so hoping that Ryle will be able to go with me this time. I always feel better when he is able to go with me. That's all I really have to report on that front.

I started back to work today as well. Let's just say it was very hard to get back in the routine after being off for two weeks. But it went well and I was in a good mood ALL day - this was a nice change!

When I got home from work, I checked the mail and YAY! I won something! A few weeks ago, I entered for a chance to win a necklace from a fellow blogger. So I want to say thanks to Kerry at Our New Normal for picking me as the winner of this beautiful necklace from Premier Designs. You can read her blog by clicking on the link above.



I have been thinking a lot lately about getting a tattoo. I don't really feel like I am the "tattoo type", but I seriously want one. The one I picked out has meaning to me and I just can't get it out of my head. This infertility journey has changed Ryle and I in many ways. And we are so much stronger as a couple and individually because of it. I think I want to get the word "believe" on my wrist with the infertility awareness ribbon behind it. Is that a crazy idea?! I know that I may not be "infertile" forever, but it has been a MAJOR part of our life for the past three years (plus it's not over yet). And I have to constantly tell myself to believe that anything is possible. In fact, I think that's part of my new year's resolution: To stay positive and believe that anything is possible.

I want this with the pomegranate colored ribbon behind it for infertility



So you can be honest and leave a comment on the blog and tell me if you think it's a crazy idea or not. And it will be hidden while I am teaching by my watch, so the kids won't see it.

One last update: I got a deer over Christmas break! Not the one I wanted, but this one showed up by our stand. He had already been shot in the back leg by another hunter the night before. He was limping, but not bleeding anymore. When we saw him, two coyotes were circling him and just messing with him. I guess they knew he was wounded. So I just couldn't let them get him. I had to shoot. Here's a picture of him ...

7 pt.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I'll update as soon as I know something more about our treatment cycle!

Christmas Fun

I can honestly say that this was the best Christmas I've had in a while. Not once did I stop to think about what all Dr. Dunaway told me. I was just able to enjoy time with my family and it was amazing. I think that pictures will show you how great of a day it was more than my words could. Here are some pictures of our Christmas fun...

My sis-in-law, Ruthie. Our Christmas Eve Painting

My grandmother and her Nativity that I painted for her!

My brother Bryan, and his baby Abby

My brothers and I

Bryan, Me, and My Daddy

Megan and I after cooking our first Christmas dinner

Megan got me some owl earrings and a necklace! I love them!

My amazing husband and I ... I love this man

I have no idea what we were doing, but I love this picture

The whole family - and the guys are acting silly, imagine that!!

Mom and her kids

Megan and Willie - such a cute couple

Megan and I trying to be tough like Bryan in his red coat!

Haha ... Bryan and Megan

Matthew and his friend, Alanie

Megan won the game "Shut the Box" - she is now $16 richer

Too much to process...

Well, I went to my post op appointment on Dec. 22nd and found out a lot of information. Sorry it's taken me so long to post, but with Christmas and Ryle coming back in town, we have been super busy! This is actually the first time I have even been able to sit down and just get on my computer.

Let me start by saying a big thank you to Megan, William, and Bryan for taking me to Baton Rouge while Ryle was is Iowa working. I always hate going to the clinic alone because they tend to throw a lot of information out there at you and it's a lot to take in. Megan is the best - she even went to the back to talk to the doctor with me!

Well he went over all of the things that he did in surgery. And the biopsy confirmed that it was endometriosis. There are four stages of it, and I was a 2+ (almost a 3). I asked what he thinks my best chance of getting pregnant is, and his answer was both surprising and overwhelming! Basically you have a year from the day of your surgery to get pregnant, because it will end up coming back. Your best chances are in the first six months. After that, the chances go down dramatically. His suggestion to me would be to do a "watered down IVF", which is still an IUI it just involves a little more. But all of the hormones and medications they put you on will feed the endometriosis. So it's like a double edged sword - you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

He would start me on a birth control pill and with another drug. I'm almost positive he said Lupron (which I looked up and found that it can be used to treat endometriosis). Then we would move on to Follistim and Menopur injectables. I have never used any of these. We would then do an IUI. I know that I am leaving some detail out, but can't seem to remember what it is. Basically this cycle will cost any where from $1,500-$4,000. OUCH! I just wasn't expecting this. I guess in the back of my head, I was hoping he would just tell us to try naturally. But I should have known better - I have too many other issues going on (PCOS, high LH levels, etc.)

I will call the clinic when I start my next cycle and I will go in for some bloodwork. He wants to recheck my LH level to make sure there wasn't a lab error last time. He said he has never seen one this high that early in a cycle before. Mine was in the 40s, he said the highest he has seen was in the 20s. Your LH level tells your body it's time to ovulate. And if I'm ovulating on cycle day 4/5, then my eggs are not having time to mature.

They are also wanting to start the IUI cycle in January - my six month window will be up before you know it! But we have to find a way to come up with the money soon. This clinic is different than the other one - in Shreveport, you pay as you go. In Baton Rouge, you pay up front.

Needless to say, when we left the clinic, I was very overwhelmed. It was way too much information for my brain to process. I called Ryle to tell him all that I could remember, and he said he could tell that my mood changed. I was just "down" - didn't know what to think/feel. But I know that we will find a way to get the money. Some how my amazing husband always finds a way. I would be lost without him.

I hope that answered everyone's questions. I feel like I'm leaving out lots of information, but I just don't know what it is! Our Christmas was great and I will post a blog about it soon. Have a great week and thanks for reading :)

Follow Up

I got my post op appointment scheduled yesterday afternoon. My follow up appointment with Dr. Dunaway is scheduled for Dec. 22 at 10 am! I will get to talk to him and see what he suggests our next step should be! Yay! I'm so excited.

I had to take another day off of work because I couldn't wear my jeans yet. I put them on and was in tears. I plan on going to work tomorrow, but will probably be in sweat pants... oh well! So for now, I'm going to enjoy my last day off work cuddled up on the couch with my three puppies. Have a great day!

Answers ... I just love them!

Well let me start from the beginning. Sunday we left and went to spend the night in Natchez with Ryle's grandparents. It was nice to get to spend some time with them since we didn't go down for Thanksgiving and it doesn't look like we will make it for Christmas either because of his work. Natchez is about half way to Baton Rouge, so we left there at 7 in the morning.

We got to Baton Rouge at 8:50 - about 25 minutes before I was supposed to be there. Traffic wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. Finally they call me back about 9:15, but they said that Dr. Dunaway had to do two egg retrievals that morning in New Orleans and was running about 45 minutes late. We went ahead and did all of the paper work while we were waiting. Finally he got there around 10 and we were able to talk to him.

I had some questions about the lab results from our last visit and to say he scared me was an understatement. He said that the high LH level could mean three things - 1)lab error, 2)severe PCOS or 3)something wrong with my pituitary gland. He said something about how LH secreting tumors in the pituitary gland are very rare and he has never seen one, but they can happen. So on my next cycle, he wants to check that lab again. He will decide what to do from that point. Yikes - I did not like hearing the word tumor. Not at all. But I'm not even going to think about that right now.

He then sent us down to admissions to fill out even more paperwork. And then we went up to the second floor. I had to go back by myself to get changed and so they could get the IV started. I did not like being away from Ryle. I was a ball of nerves. Finally he was able to come back and sit with me while we were yet again waiting on Dr. Dunaway. He wasn't too late this time. My surgery was scheduled for noon and he got there around 12:15.

Nervous but ready ....

At that point, I don't really remember much. They gave me the "feel good" and relax medicine and then took me straight to the back. The surgery took about an hour and then Ryle was able to talk to the doctor while I was taken to recovery.

Dr. Dunaway flushed out my tubes during the surgery and they were all good and clear. He did find some endometriosis on my ovaries and uterus. While he was in there he burned all of the spots off with the laser. Apparently this is why none of the IUI's have worked for us. While I am glad that he found it, why in the world didn't the other doctors think about it? It's kind of frustrating. I am glad that we have some answers and I am glad that is was fixable. There is a chance that the endometriosis can come back, but according to Dr. Dunaway, he bought us enough time to get pregnant.

It took me forever to get out of recovery. I remember the nurse telling me that I had to get my breathing under control before she could let me go and see Ryle. Apparently I had very shallow breathing. They kept telling me to take deep breaths. I think I was in recovery for about an hour and a half. They finally let me leave recovery and the movement made me feel sick. So they wouldn't let us leave the hospital. We ended up leaving Baton Rouge around 6pm. I was so ready to get out of there.

I'm very sore but so glad that we have some answers. I will call to schedule my follow up appointment soon. I'm not sure what our next step will be because I am still dealing with the PCOS issue. If he suggests that we continue fertility treatments, I want to try another IUI now because hopefully it will work with the endometriosis being gone. I don't know, we will just have to see what he says. I'm so very thankful for my new doctor, for my amazing husband for taking care of me, and for all of our friends and family for the kind thoughts and prayers. I truly am blessed.

Here is some information on endometriosis that I found online:
http://women.webmd.com/endometriosis/endometriosis-topic-overview

Ryle and I are both praying that this is the answer we have been waiting for. We want nothing more than to be parents and hopefully in the next few months we can share some great news with all of you. Thanks again for the support and prayers. We love you all!!

Big Day

Well tomorrow's the big day of the surgery. I am so glad that it is finally here. I'm ready to get some answers! Ryle and I were talking about it yesterday - on one hand, I want him to find something wrong so that there will finally be a reason as to why I can't get pregnant. However, on the other hand, I don't want him to find something wrong and it not be fixable. SO I'm praying that if there is anything wrong, that he can fix it! My biggest fear at this point is that he will tell me that I can never have kids. I don't know how well I would handle that news. But I guess if that day comes, then we will deal with it then.

I talked to the hospital yesterday, we are just going to come on home after the surgery instead of staying overnight. I just want to come home and sleep in my bed. I took off work for three days just to be safe, but I know that my class is in good hands. It also means that when I go back, I only have 4 work days left before Christmas break! Man I have got to do some shopping soon - we haven't even started.

I will try to put an update on here when we get home Monday night, but it may be Tuesday before I get to it. Prayers are always welcome!!

100%

Well, good and kinda not good news. FINO called back last week with my lab results and information about my insurance coverage for the surgery.

Good news first, the insurance will cover 100% of my surgery! Yay!  The surgery is scheduled for December 12th at noon. We will have to be there at 9 am to be admitted, etc.

Now the kinda not good news. My labwork results are in and everything looked good except my LH level. It was too high for that early in my cycle (I was day 4/5). She said my level should only be that high around ovulation. So after the surgery we will have to recheck that test. They just want to make sure that it wasn't a lab error, etc.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving because I know that I did! We spent the whole day with my family and it was wonderful! Then we spent the weekend deer hunting. It was an amazing week! Here are some pictures of the week!

Ryle, my Dad, and Bryan frying the turkey




Sweet Abby on Thanksgiving Day



Ryle and I on Thanksgiving Day

Black Friday Crossfit WOD

Ryle and I on Black Friday

Happy Day

Well it was a great day! We had our appointment with FINO. And we just loved the whole experience! From the moment we walked in the door, everyone was friendly and welcoming! We loved the whole staff. I think that it was a great idea to switch doctors. Dr. Dunaway seems like a perfect fit. We were there a total of two hours. We gave our history, took our picture, talked, gave some blood, had an ultrasound, and set up a time for my surgery. Yikes - I know, surgery!

He thinks that I should have already had a surgery to "explore" my insides. According to him, I should already be pregnant. He thinks that there may be an underlying cause as to why nothing has worked so far. So as of now, we will go back to FINO on December 12th for an outpatient surgery. It's not a big deal. The whole surgery will last about an hour and is done laparoscopically (sp??). They did say they will let me spend the night simply because we are 4 hours away. So all together, I will miss about three days of work. Which at this point, if it will give me some answers, then I'm all for it. He will also "flush out" my tubes during this procedure.

After the surgery, we will discuss our options as far as IVF. We didn't really discuss that today, because he wants to make sure that there isn't another problem before we spend 10-15grand on IVF. Which makes total sense.

I just feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. This is the first time that I have left a fertility clinic with a smile on my face! I even left knowing that I'm going to have surgery and was still smiling! I can't stress enough how much we liked him. He was very down to Earth, friendly, personable, funny, and he seemed to care! He took the time to explain every single thing that we asked about. He went with me to get my blood drawn and was still talking/explaining things. We left knowing exactly what the plan was and felt confident about it.

They will call me later this week with the labwork results and to confirm the surgery. As of now they are "holding" the time/day for us. He just wants to make sure all of the labs look ok before we offically book it.

Well it's been a long day of traveling. 8 hours in the car and I'm exhausted. Hope this all makes sense! Thanks for the kind thoughts and prayers :)

FINO

Ok, well after my "crawl back in bed kinda day", my week started to get better. Ryle and I talked for a while about switching doctors and we both think that it may be a good idea. We now have an appointment with The Fertility Institute of New Orleans, which I will refer to as FINO. Instead of driving to New Orleans, we will drive to their Baton Rouge office. This is a 3 hour drive - only an hour or so longer than the old clinic. Not too bad honestly. We will be seeing Dr. Dunaway - on their website, it says that he specializes in PCOS. So I think this will be a good switch. Our appointment with FINO is on Nov. 14th at 1pm. I still have an appointment with the clinic in Shreveport for Dec. 2nd - just in case we don't like this new doctor!


Also, a dear friend of mine gave me an early Christmas present. It's an endurance bracelet. I love it and hope it helps me endure this TTC journey that Ryle and I are on. The charm on the end is a turtle which is just perfect - for two reasons: 1) the story says that turtles are the symbol of fertility and protection and 2) I gave this family a pet turtle that they named "Stony" (the kids think that this will help me remember "Stony" forever!) I just love it! This was exactly what I needed this week!

The headaches have gotten better as well. I'm still taking the 500mg of Metformin, but I'm also taking the 50mg of Zoloft. I haven't had a "terrible" headache since I started the Zoloft ... maybe that was the key!

Crawl Back In Bed Kinda Day

There are no words to describe my day today other than this: it's the kind of day that makes you want to crawl back in bed! I wanted to call the clinic to make sure that we didn't owe them anything because it seems like every time we go over there they always say that we owe them more money. I just wanted to be prepared this time and not caught off guard. Well good news first - we don't owe them anything! Yay!

Bad news: she tells me that the doctor I have an appointment with RETIRED and I no longer have an appointment for IVF consult! My response: WHAT? Why didn't ya'll call me?! Basically they were not going to call me until they found another appointment time. She said they didn't know when I would be able to get in because they are only down to one doctor now - it could be a long time. I mean seriously were they going to let me drive two hours over there without calling me to tell me that I no longer had an appointment?! I was not a happy camper and let her know it.

I immediately hang up with them and call Ryle. I'm crying and he's meeting with a farmer, but I guess he could tell that something was wrong so he talked to me for a minute. I told him that I had convinced myself to go to Natchez for Thanksgiving. I knew it would be hard, but maybe since we were supposed to see the clinic that week and get a game plan in place that I would be ok. But now that I can't see them, what am I supposed to do? I'm just so pissed off.

The clinic did call me back around 3 and said they can squeeze me in on December 2nd. Which means I will have to take off work now but oh well I guess.

I also went to see my doctor today to ask her about the headaches and to see if there was another clinic I could go to in town. Well no other clinic near by. I would have to go to Dallas, Houston, Jackson, or New Orleans. She said she would suggest New Orleans, but that makes it very difficult with my work schedule. We are going to look into it though. It wouldn't hurt I guess. And nothing I can do about the headaches except to stop taking the Metformin. She said it could just be my body adjusting to all the changes its making. I don't want to stop taking it, because I think it will help. Two weeks ago when they did all of my labs, my insulin level was 25 - it should have been under 17. So that's why I'm going to keep taking it and hope that the headaches will go away.

I am also starting my Zoloft today. She told me to cut it in half and only take 25mg instead of 50mg for a while until my body adjusts to the Metformin. Ryle doesn't want me to take it, but I need it. I'm starting to feel sad and blah all the time again. I so hope this helps because I don't know what else to do.

Now I'm going to go do some research on the fertility clinic in New Orleans ....