Hello!

Ok this is my first post. I'm sure no one will read this, but a friend I work with told me that writing things down will help me cope with this "problem" I have. My problem being that I can't get pregnant. No matter how hard we try. So this is me trying to help myself feel better.

I haven't been to see the specalist in a while due to lack of money and husband. Well, let me rephrase ... my husband has been out of town working over the past few months and it's very hard to have a baby with no sperm (just incase you didn't know).

A few months ago I started a journal that I wanted to keep private - even from my husband, but that didn't happen. He read it. So I stopped writing in it. This is me trying to get back into it. Since I won't be going to the specalist anytime soon, I will use the next few posts to "document" what has happened in our story so far.

I married the man of my dreams July 22, 2008. It was the best day of my life. I knew he was the right man for me. I do not know how I could survive without him. I stopped taking my birth control a month before we got married. I knew that it would take a while to get out of my system since I had been taking it for like 6 years. After a few months with no period I go to see my gynocologist. He gave me progesterone to induce a period. He also gave me Clomid. I was on Clomid for 6 cycles with my regular doctor. Every month he would go up on the dosage. My husband was also checked 3 times - he was not the problem. Finally he told me that I would need to see a specalist.

At this point I am pretty scared. No one ever likes to hear that they need to go to a specalist. And it also just made me want to have a baby more ...